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pondering depression
| Open Poetry #34 |
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pondering depression |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal 
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have you felt the sorrow that sometimes sweeps in as a wind from the north blowing chill to the soul and moving eyes to weep as heart questions and wonders why it is the lights dim and gray shades descend beneath that cold chill unexpected wind ? s.a.t. If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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| © Copyright 2005 s.a.t. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
yes, but then, there is this voice which says...hey...kiddo, get your act together and get on with it...so, me being the fighter I am, energize in another place...laying whatever bothers me, to rest...oh, sometimes the emotions run a roller coaster ride, but hey...what would life be without those little demons on our shoulders...just brush em off...hehe Hugs for a good write...love ya |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Ah Lee - thanks for the love and the kind heart - still - I sometimes wonder why it is when things are really not so bad I can feel so incredibly sad - ah well - this too shall pass - perhaps when the sun returns to the sky and warmth blankets my world with flowers and leaves and birds and things - Love ya - and hugs - Susan If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Susan...yes, I've felt this way....and I don't like the feeling! For me many times it is weather related. Wishing you a springtime within!  |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Ah, Martie - I was just thinking the same thing - gray days, chill, sleet, icy rain - what's nice about that? Thanks dear -  SusanIf I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
got hugs and a sun lamp come on down baby.. I can relate though between the prozac and the viagra it is hard to decide what mood I am in enjoyed the poem hey who dat in the pic where did nurse betty go? (grin) |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Hehe - gotta fix that pic, it stretched to fit the format and now even I'm afraid when I see it - oy! I'll take you up on the sun lamp - be there in a few  Thanks D -  SusanIf I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Yes. Usually when you have achieved something and wonder what the next target should be. Dave |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
"I sometimes wonder why it is when things are really not so bad I can feel so incredibly sad" Sometimes when that happens it could be that you are picking up the emotion from someone else. It happens if one is somewhat empathetic by nature. Otherwise, yes, I think most people have experienced the depression you describe so well. Fortunately most of us snap to attention with the dawning of a new day or new attitude. |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Do you refer to that constant howling in the land with the stuck season? Yes, I know this, even have come to embrace it. (but easily half of my ill winds have come from the south and doubtless there are those who think the north wind's from my mouth) I like the new photo. Just the right amount of bemused arrogance with a twinge of pretty pride. Poets against the war is redundant |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Very nice write. JL |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
Yes....unfortunately. Yet......so did Van Gogh, Dylan, Sexton, Plath, Hemingway and on and on. Here read this: Creativity, Depression and Suicide Prevention For several centuries, stories of famous painters, writers and musicians who were depressed and took their lives made people wonder. Only in the last 25 years has scientific evidence demonstrated that creative people are more vulnerable to depression and suicide, regardless of whether or not they become famous. More research is needed to determine which: Patients suffering from depressive or manic depressive disorders are most vulnerable to suicide Treatments will control the disorder without interfering with the artists’ ability to create. Throughout history artists, writers and musicians have seemed to suffer disproportionately from mood disorders. Only recently has research concluded that a high percentage of artists — both past and contemporary — have, in fact, suffered from affective illness, particularly manic-depressive disorder. Treatment of major depressive illness in artists has presented unique problems; partly because of a concern that creativity and the disorder are so intertwined that treatment might destroy the artists’ unique talent. By supporting study of current approaches to treatment, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention hopes to encourage the development of new options for today’s creators, options unfortunately unavailable for yesterday’s greats. I just figure I am in good company!! No Prozac for me. Robert |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
thank you friends for all the encouragement and insights. Robert B - thanks for the information - and the intellectual part of me understands all this - and I cope, as do we all - but some days I just have to express the feelings of struggling uphill so often - but the good thing is, when things are good, they are very very good - and so many experiences are much more intense than more balanced people experience - and you are right - am in good company and it helps to have friends to share with and to encourage - Hugs all - and thank you very much - Love - Susan If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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time prophet Member
since 2003-07-30
Posts 371In New Zealand Amongst the Ancient Trees |
Yes, for a long time it has been so, but the sun is coming out, it always does. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I love the new pic! Nice write... ~Alli~ Happy 2005! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
To answer simply....would be to say yes to all of the above. If depression were proportionate to creativity....well, some of our masters might not hold a candle to me a few years past. Our creativity is what, in my humble op. helps us through those moments....the letting out of certain feelings...and the subsequent dealing with them after the cards are on the table. Susan, you are in a good place...and you are on the right path. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
"Otherwise" by Jane Kenyon Publisher: Graywolf Press ISBN 1555972667 Also remember what Chekhov said: “Any idiot can rise to a crisis. It’s this day to day living that grinds you down.” |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
Hugs to you Susan....I am so glad you can write about it. I think.....maybe that is what many cannot or have not done and it did them in. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
 why? cause i can't catch my rainbow long enough and must wait to meet him again in heaven |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
....don't....ponder..... don't don't ponder Only makes it worse, you know.... ...you KNOW. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
You all warm my heart so very much - I feel inadequate in my ability to express how much your kind words mean - thank you - and Ratleader - you are right - to focus upon a problem is to increase its ability to recreate itself into a more intense form - or so the Dali Lahma says - it's just hard sometimes to remember what the intellect knows when the emotions get the better of you - writing it out does ease the ache, and having friends as all of you are, it makes the gray less bleak - thank you again - love you all - Susan If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Keep your chin up girl. The weather (whether) changes frequently all through life...what is down today, will be up tomorrow. Hang in there! TD |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
take Van Gogh for instance...if you look back into his history, is it any wonder he became a slave to depression...he was banned not only from society but also from his fathers home b/c he chose to be an artist. How can one be sensitive (and yes, it is in the genes) but if one has not experienced misery, sorrow, despair...then how could one be sensitive to the needs of others, or be compassionate? My point is, artists are much more sensitive then most...and I betcha if we looked back into the history of these folks, and us to...we've got a lot of notches on our belts. Oh, yes, at a very young age, I was indeed very perceptive/sensitive already then, detached myself from society...it was my choice, I wanted to.... I don't take any meds other then natural stuff...although perhaps sometimes you may wonder, teehee Susan...without those empty sad feelings....how would we truly know joy...and embrace it? To be honest, and this might sound a little weird, but I love that feeling way deep down in side, that emptiness, sort of meloncoly bittersweet saddness....?????? It's a quiet quality time of mine for soul searching and peace. Embrace all of life's emotions Susan, for there is rhyme and reason to everything... I think???? Love ya |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
TD - thanks dear - hugs LeeJ - yes, I have walked this path for years and years - since very young - luckily I was well loved at home as a child - but the sensativity made life difficult sometimes at school - but growing up with five brothers rather toughens one Love you both - and thanks so much for the open arms - SusanIf I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Look at life now not yesterday. Make the most of what you have. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good write  |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Daniel - it is the now that i see - the yesterdays are but memories - i look around me and i wonder sometimes - too much pain to see, to know - uncertainty - death - sorrow -it surrounds me at this point in my life - today, now, in this moment - but still i do my best to stand and to see the good things, and there are good things - many, many - look at the hearts of the people here on PIP - they are incredible - thanks for your reply Vandana - thanks dear Susan If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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Robert Frazier Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014 |
who knows how long that wind will blow? but it will stop . . . thank God for wind-brake-friends, poets and hope. you write truth, and well. Hugs, Rf |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
oh yes |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Thank you Robert - most kind - Dixie - yes, you know -  SusanIf I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Hi Susan. This sadness you write of and I are old bed fellows. Long have we been wedded together. There are days I too can not pull myself out of the (funk) as I so lovingly name it. Thank goodness they are far and few between...but when they do come I just let them wash through me. I accept all the hurt and it comes out in my writing. It makes for the best poetry...even if the moderators do cut the links sometimes. LOL! (Speaking from experience on that one.) Enough on this though...what I wanted to say is this poem is beautiful. It just rends at my heart. Bravo dear friend. Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history! |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Thank you so much, dear Kevin. I think sometimes I just ponder to much. I am sorry you know the sorrow too, but am glad you've found an effective way of coping. It does make for really inspired poetry, though, huh? When I'm really happy - well, sometimes then the emotions don't flow and the words do not follow. Hugs - and love - SusanIf I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Susan, I just want to hug you. Sad poem, but your wonderful way with words still shines. Mood swings are okay.....just don't let yourself stay there, okay? .....jo |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Ah, Jo - thank you dear. Actually, I am feeling much more positive these past two days - letting go of the worry for now - after all, it solves nothing. I think too, sometimes it just descends uninvited and you have to kick it out and lock the door Hugs - SusanIf I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Yes... so often I could call it friend... if I didn't know it to be enemy. *S* |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
I like that concept - yes, I would have to agree - SusanIf I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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