If You Could Only See What I Feel

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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2005-01-13 07:03 PM

If You Could Only See What I Feel

See the very thought of you
entering quietly

quietly

like soft whispers
and blue-belled flowers
on a spring morning
in that pink hued sunlit time
just ere the cardinal sings

see the very thought of you…

then the illusion enlarges

and I perceive the very phantom of you
perforating softly

softly

like soft undertones
of oceans waves meeting my feet
on a summer morn
in that salmon-colored sky's light time
prior to the seagull's swoop

perceiving the very phantom of you…

then the chimera enlarges

and I embrace the very feel of you
intruding gently

gently

like old memories
bringing smells of reminiscence
on a fall morning
in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time
preceding the fish's bite…

and emotions reign
in your
phantasmal embrace

©Karilea Rilling Jungel
9 August, 2000

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

1 posted 2005-01-13 07:23 PM

Hi, SIL. Just had to say that I loved the descriptions of nature in this. Very lovely!

....jo

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

2 posted 2005-01-13 08:50 PM

like soft undertones
of oceans waves meeting my feet
on a summer morn
in that salmon-colored sky's light time
prior to the seagull's swoop

Another beauty Karilea. hugs, Chris

You said you'd give me light-
But you never told me about the fire
Stevie Nicks

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

3 posted 2005-01-13 09:01 PM

Brilliant Sunshine

You trap images like no tomorrow

Dave

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2005-01-13 09:07 PM

Excellent write Karilea..
Your words are woven so delicately.
Hugs~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

5 posted 2005-01-13 09:12 PM

This piece is truly as priceless now as it was then and I missed it then
but I'm keepin it now. grinz...

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

6 posted 2005-01-13 09:42 PM

Oh my yes, - the soft of this - and the eloquence - wonderfully done

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

7 posted 2005-01-13 11:45 PM

"
softly

like soft undertones
of oceans waves meeting my feet
on a summer morn
in that salmon-colored sky's light time
prior to the seagull's swoop

perceiving the very phantom of you…

then the chimera enlarges

and I embrace the very feel of you
intruding gently

gently

like old memories
bringing smells of reminiscence
on a fall morning
in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time
preceding the fish's bite…

and emotions reign
in your
phantasmal embrace"

this actually brought tears to my eyes..
this touches deep...

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

8 posted 2005-01-13 11:50 PM

If I could only see what I feel.....

....or vice-versa.....

What a way to spoil a response to an utterly beautiful poem.....which makes me glad I came here tonight.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

9 posted 2005-01-14 12:03 PM

wonderful!

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

10 posted 2005-01-14 05:02 PM

You do have a magnificent way with words.
Wonderful write.

JL

Lighthousebob
Member Elite

since 2000-06-14

Posts 4725
California

11 posted 2005-01-14 05:32 PM

I like what my mind senses as your words here provokes travel from scene to scene where expressed are your tender emotions as I try my best to engage and to see the quiet, the soft, the gentle, that you so very much want me to feel and, yes, I do believe that I did feel a most wonderful hush come over my spirit after reading your poem. Thank you. -Bob

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

12 posted 2005-01-14 07:07 PM

Amazing...

~Alli~

Happy 2005!

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

13 posted 2005-01-14 07:36 PM

Just wonderful ....

hugs, Marti

A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.
–St. Francis of Assisi

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

14 posted 2005-01-14 09:23 PM

Sheesh....SSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHH!

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

15 posted 2005-01-14 09:25 PM

Wonderful...

believe in what your heart feels...

froggy
Senior Member

since 2003-06-23

Posts 1893
Michigan

16 posted 2005-01-15 05:53 PM

Beautiful read

:-)

saved_by_grace
Member

since 2005-01-08

Posts 332
In the arms of God...

17 posted 2005-01-15 06:09 PM

Incredible write, Sunshine!! Every word drew me further into your thoughts...such a beautiful vision!

******
gently

like old memories
bringing smells of reminiscence
on a fall morning
******

Ahhhh...wonderful and even brought a tear!

Hugs...Becka

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

18 posted 2005-01-15 08:25 PM

"Quietly" "Softly" "Gently"
Exquisite choice of one word lines....how they lead the reader into the next stanzas is a wonderful touch...dream-like transitions into finely tapered stanzas...

Love the form and content...

________ice/ford
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