Open Poetry #34 |
If You Could Only See What I Feel |
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
If You Could Only See What I Feel See the very thought of you entering quietly quietly like soft whispers and blue-belled flowers on a spring morning in that pink hued sunlit time just ere the cardinal sings see the very thought of you… then the illusion enlarges and I perceive the very phantom of you perforating softly softly like soft undertones of oceans waves meeting my feet on a summer morn in that salmon-colored sky's light time prior to the seagull's swoop perceiving the very phantom of you… then the chimera enlarges and I embrace the very feel of you intruding gently gently like old memories bringing smells of reminiscence on a fall morning in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time preceding the fish's bite… and emotions reign in your phantasmal embrace ©Karilea Rilling Jungel 9 August, 2000 |
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© Copyright 2005 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Hi, SIL. Just had to say that I loved the descriptions of nature in this. Very lovely! ....jo |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
like soft undertones of oceans waves meeting my feet on a summer morn in that salmon-colored sky's light time prior to the seagull's swoop Another beauty Karilea. hugs, Chris You said you'd give me light- |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Brilliant Sunshine You trap images like no tomorrow Dave |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent write Karilea.. Your words are woven so delicately. Hugs~ |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
This piece is truly as priceless now as it was then and I missed it then but I'm keepin it now. grinz... |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Oh my yes, - the soft of this - and the eloquence - wonderfully done Susan If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
" softly like soft undertones of oceans waves meeting my feet on a summer morn in that salmon-colored sky's light time prior to the seagull's swoop perceiving the very phantom of you… then the chimera enlarges and I embrace the very feel of you intruding gently gently like old memories bringing smells of reminiscence on a fall morning in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time preceding the fish's bite… and emotions reign in your phantasmal embrace" this actually brought tears to my eyes.. this touches deep... |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
If I could only see what I feel..... ....or vice-versa..... What a way to spoil a response to an utterly beautiful poem.....which makes me glad I came here tonight. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wonderful! |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
You do have a magnificent way with words. Wonderful write. JL |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
I like what my mind senses as your words here provokes travel from scene to scene where expressed are your tender emotions as I try my best to engage and to see the quiet, the soft, the gentle, that you so very much want me to feel and, yes, I do believe that I did feel a most wonderful hush come over my spirit after reading your poem. Thank you. -Bob |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Amazing... ~Alli~ Happy 2005! |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Just wonderful .... hugs, Marti A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Sheesh....SSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHH! |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Wonderful... believe in what your heart feels... |
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froggy Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893Michigan |
Beautiful read :-) |
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saved_by_grace Member
since 2005-01-08
Posts 332In the arms of God... |
Incredible write, Sunshine!! Every word drew me further into your thoughts...such a beautiful vision! ****** gently like old memories bringing smells of reminiscence on a fall morning ****** Ahhhh...wonderful and even brought a tear! Hugs...Becka |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
"Quietly" "Softly" "Gently" Exquisite choice of one word lines....how they lead the reader into the next stanzas is a wonderful touch...dream-like transitions into finely tapered stanzas... Love the form and content... ________ice/ford ><> |
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