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Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2005-01-13 07:03 PM



If You Could Only See What I Feel

See the very thought of you
entering quietly

quietly

like soft whispers
and blue-belled flowers
on a spring morning
in that pink hued sunlit time
just ere the cardinal sings

see the very thought of you…

then the illusion enlarges

and I perceive the very phantom of you
perforating softly

softly

like soft undertones
of oceans waves meeting my feet
on a summer morn
in that salmon-colored sky's light time
prior to the seagull's swoop

perceiving the very phantom of you…

then the chimera enlarges

and I embrace the very feel of you
intruding gently

gently

like old memories
bringing smells of reminiscence
on a fall morning
in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time
preceding the fish's bite…

and emotions reign
in your
phantasmal embrace


©Karilea Rilling Jungel
9 August, 2000

© Copyright 2005 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
1 posted 2005-01-13 07:23 PM


Hi, SIL.  Just had to say that I loved the descriptions of nature in this.  Very lovely!   ....jo
Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
2 posted 2005-01-13 08:50 PM


like soft undertones
of oceans waves meeting my feet
on a summer morn
in that salmon-colored sky's light time
prior to the seagull's swoop


Another beauty Karilea. hugs, Chris

You said you'd give me light-
But you never told me about the fire
Stevie Nicks

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

3 posted 2005-01-13 09:01 PM


Brilliant Sunshine

You trap images like no tomorrow

Dave

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2005-01-13 09:07 PM


Excellent write Karilea..
Your words are woven so delicately.
Hugs~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2005-01-13 09:12 PM


This piece is truly as priceless now as it was then and I missed it then
but I'm keepin it now.  grinz...

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
6 posted 2005-01-13 09:42 PM


Oh my yes, - the soft of this - and the eloquence - wonderfully done

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2005-01-13 11:45 PM


"
softly

like soft undertones
of oceans waves meeting my feet
on a summer morn
in that salmon-colored sky's light time
prior to the seagull's swoop

perceiving the very phantom of you…

then the chimera enlarges

and I embrace the very feel of you
intruding gently

gently

like old memories
bringing smells of reminiscence
on a fall morning
in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time
preceding the fish's bite…

and emotions reign
in your
phantasmal embrace
"

this actually brought tears to my eyes..
this touches deep...

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2005-01-13 11:50 PM


If I could only see what I feel.....


....or vice-versa.....


What a way to spoil a response to an utterly beautiful poem.....which makes me glad I came here tonight.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2005-01-14 12:03 PM


wonderful!
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
10 posted 2005-01-14 05:02 PM


You do have a magnificent way with words.
Wonderful write.

JL

Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
11 posted 2005-01-14 05:32 PM


I like what my mind senses as your words here provokes travel from scene to scene where expressed are your tender emotions as I try my best to engage and to see the quiet, the soft, the gentle, that you so very much want me to feel and, yes, I do believe that I did feel a most wonderful hush come over my spirit after reading your poem. Thank you. -Bob
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
12 posted 2005-01-14 07:07 PM


Amazing...

~Alli~

Happy 2005!

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
13 posted 2005-01-14 07:36 PM


Just wonderful ....

hugs, Marti

A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.
–St. Francis of Assisi

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
14 posted 2005-01-14 09:23 PM


Sheesh....SSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHH!
scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
15 posted 2005-01-14 09:25 PM


Wonderful...

believe in what your heart feels...

froggy
Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893
Michigan
16 posted 2005-01-15 05:53 PM


Beautiful read

:-)

saved_by_grace
Member
since 2005-01-08
Posts 332
In the arms of God...
17 posted 2005-01-15 06:09 PM


Incredible write, Sunshine!!  Every word drew me further into your thoughts...such a beautiful vision!

******
gently

like old memories
bringing smells of reminiscence
on a fall morning
******

Ahhhh...wonderful and even brought a tear!

Hugs...Becka

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
18 posted 2005-01-15 08:25 PM



"Quietly" "Softly" "Gently"
Exquisite choice of one word lines....how they lead the reader into the next stanzas is a wonderful touch...dream-like transitions into finely tapered stanzas...

Love the form and content...
________ice/ford
  ><>

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