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Open Poetry #34
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suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana

0 posted 2004-12-30 11:23 PM


renounced
cast
OUT
wingless
divested
of
angelic attire
these feet
of
clay
mere dust
dampened
by
tears
strayed from
n
a
r
r
o
w
path
condemned
to
HELL
inhaling smell
of
burned
feathers

© Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
1 posted 2004-12-30 11:24 PM


Excellent write - excellent description - sad to say that even angels may fall to perdition -

Susan

Every action generates a force that returns to us in like kind . . . let us choose compassion and love

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
2 posted 2004-12-31 12:58 PM


Amazing write, Suthern.  Very creative!  Hope you have a happy 2005!   ....jo
Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2004-12-31 05:54 AM


Wow! Where did that one come from! Powerful and filled with passion! You certainly have convinced this "angel" to stay on the straight and narrow!

Hugs with lots of love,
Linda
May the coming new year bring you peace, prosperity and joy!

Happy New Year

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2004-12-31 06:22 AM


how vivid!

wow!

suthern
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Louisiana
5 posted 2004-12-31 08:11 AM


Thank you, ladies... so very much!!! *S* I wasn't sure the starkness would work... you know I'm a wordy one. *G* Your approval means much to me! *S*
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
6 posted 2004-12-31 02:15 PM


You writin' about me again?....How dare you!!!....very interesting and "different" write gal...
*Alli4000*
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since 2004-03-21
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The World of Poetry
7 posted 2004-12-31 07:14 PM


Amazing . . . Happy New Year!

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

suthern
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Louisiana
8 posted 2005-01-01 10:16 AM


Well, Toe... *G* You have been called a handsome devil more than a few times... but your heart is far too good to fall from grace. LOL

Thank you, Toe and Alli! *S*

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
9 posted 2005-01-07 09:43 AM


Ow-Ow-Ow! You write pain so....painfully....darn this is good. Rest assured though, that you're not taking that tumble any time soon...so keep flying, cuz your feathers are safe.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2005-01-07 10:01 AM


suthern
The arrow has struck a vital spot.
What shall we do with the body?
Excellent write

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
11 posted 2005-01-07 10:29 AM


"strayed from
n
a
r
r
o
w
path
condemned
to
HELL "

Hey, nobody is perfect!

*grin*

Great take on the old bringer of light.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2005-01-07 10:38 AM



*thump*
OW!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

13 posted 2005-01-07 12:55 PM


ut-oh...you got a Randy dragon too?  

razor sharp...with a jagged edge...
your muse continues to impress as you explore free verse...
this one needs band aid alerts.

( great assonance and line breaks in this too)

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
14 posted 2005-01-07 01:11 PM


"wingless
divested"

yes..at times it seems like we all are...

nice, very nice.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
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British Columbia, Canada
15 posted 2005-01-07 01:14 PM


I love it when you change your path, and trust me it "works!"  Well done.


Carpe' Diem

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

16 posted 2005-01-07 02:10 PM


the starkness fits the subject perfectly, it reminds me of a falling star...beautiful for a moment, but fated in the end...
powerful powerful write lady

Martie
Moderator
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
17 posted 2005-01-09 06:48 PM


Suthern

Very impactful!!  

Magnus
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South Carolina, USA
18 posted 2005-01-09 08:47 PM


You have written well of his destiny...if
only it were a lonely place.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
19 posted 2005-01-18 03:05 PM


Oh wow. The smell of burned feathers! That is a great one! Thanks for the view.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
20 posted 2005-01-18 04:12 PM


That narrow path is a slippery slope, indeed, suthern gal~
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

21 posted 2005-01-18 08:28 PM


wow and check you out, lady!

and yanno? Even in the concrete format (um, not sure if I am technically correct on that so forgive my confusion)

but there is a distinct rhythm of meter in this that reminds of voudouin ritual.

Next time yer in town, we'll have to "sit a spell"

grins and hugs

you do this well


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