Open Poetry #34 |
blew eye serenity |
Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
the wind some days wears a bustier with shoe laces and double knots can hear her gasp when she runs with her skirt too long for her legs on the stairs called trees there in hallway valleys with windows in the sky at night she moans alone rubbing her knees with her cloud lotion saying she won't run again tomorrow, but she does _______________ Dark (scribblenote afterthefact byrequest..this is just the wind doing the park down the street..how it sounds and how it looks..) [This message has been edited by Dark Stranger (12-28-2004 10:29 AM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well for some strange reason, this rings a few tears... again, thank you. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I always double knot. some days walking just isn't an option.. well done...again. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
by the title I thought perhaps I was going to see something a little different than this that would be painful.... but I still feel hurt in this one.... well done D.... |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
i understand the wind has rabbit in her and she's just gotta run free |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
at night she moans alone rubbing her knees with her cloud lotion saying she won't run again tomorrow, but she does =============================== what you do with personification makes me smile and admire... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
DS The wind can touch you everywhere in just a moment, and then be gone, except for the memory. |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
very nice -- the wimd is running headlong as I read this, chasing the rain and casting it about...good read tonight |
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J.Samm Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415Iloilo City, Philippines |
poets can do what only poets can do...so you saw the wind today, i guess only poets can see stuff like that...i enjoyed your poem |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
your words whisper the wind Susan Every action generates a force that returns to us in like kind . . . when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of o |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
oh just say my name...*laughing* this is lovely, and the part about the knees did sound rather familiar... *chuckle* (don't know what's wrong with me today, but I'll bet you do) *ahem* a lovely write my friend |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Very nice . . . ~Alli~ Happy Holidays! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
DarkStranger~ Somehow I felt Winnie The Pooh's blustery day in this piece~ "Oh, bother !" (my little Poohism) I liked it THAT MUCH ! *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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