Twas The Night Before Christmas (At Balladeer's House)

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Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

0 posted 2004-12-21 07:57 AM

For all of you that don't know, Balladeer owns many
pest control franchises, (he's rich yanno), an adult book store/video store and a sheep ranch....

Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the house,
Not a creature was stirring
(You can bet not a mouse)

Poor Balladeer,
Was all snug in his bed,
While visions of cockroaches
Danced thru his head.

Milk and cheap cookies
Were left by the hearth
A carton of Pepto
Case Santa should barf.

All of a sudden,
He heard such a clatter,
He jumped outta bed
To see what's the matter.

Up on the rooftop
Santa was twitching,
The reindeer were scratching
Shaking and itching.

With Balladeer's knowledge,
And without hesitation,
He knew of the answer,
A FLEA INFESTATION!

He ran next store,
To his sailor friend LongJohn
Got his X-girlfriend's bathsoap,
(Walmart Diazinon)

He opened the top,
Put it on Blitzen,
On Prancer-on Dancer
And finally Vixen.

(You've heard of Vixen,
That reindeer that's blonde
She once had this "thing"
For that sailor LongJohn).

The reindeer felt better,
It was almost eleven,
Santa kept itching,
"Deer dusted with "Sevin"

Then Santa went off,
He yelled over his back:
"Merry Christmas to all"
By "Mistle Toe-rag"

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

1 posted 2004-12-21 08:09 AM

LMAO

I adore you Toe!!!

Happy Holidays!!!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

2 posted 2004-12-21 08:59 AM

Hehehehehehhe

Your a light in the dark....

Great to see you and hope all is well

Wishing you and yours a very Merry!!

hugs you sweetie

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2004-12-21 09:04 AM

ROTFL!!! Toe you are too funny!!
Merry merry to you and yours!
Love ya guy!

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

4 posted 2004-12-21 10:35 AM

Hi Toe!! It's good to see you here!!
I've been waiting for you so that I could
post my poems about you three clowns. LOL

Merry Christmas to you and your, Sweetie,
Hugs,
Ethel

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

5 posted 2004-12-21 12:01 PM

You're so bad that you might not get even a lump of coal in your Christmas sock!!
Don't worry....I will share my coal with ya.

Hugs, Chris

Don't forget my presents!!

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

6 posted 2004-12-21 12:07 PM

Chuckling! A nice treat to digest during lunch! Merry Christmas, Ye Ole Toe!
miscellanea

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

7 posted 2004-12-21 01:13 PM

Merry Christmas Toerag

Hope Santa is as good to you as you are to us you skalawag!

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

8 posted 2004-12-21 01:13 PM

So did he "tick" Santa off?

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

9 posted 2004-12-21 01:42 PM

Toe, you just added some merry to my Christmas!

Laughter is good for the sole! ~ or is that "soul"?

Find some mistletoe and stand under it with your lips puckered! I'm on my way!
~ Have you ever been Touched By An Angel? ~ I mean "kissed" by an angel?!? Well, I may not be the purest of God's messengers ~ for there is more than a touch of "baby blue" in my aura!

Have a Happy Christmas & a Merry (so to speak) New Year!

Linda

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

10 posted 2004-12-21 02:29 PM

This has become a "must-read" for my holidays... it never fails to give me smiles. *S*

Merry Christmas, sweet Mistle-Toerag... and may your new year be the happiest ever!!

But... I do hope EA knows she's going to have to wait in line??? LOL And that line waiting to sneak a Toe smooch is a LONG one! LOL

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

11 posted 2004-12-21 03:01 PM

HO HO HO... Merry Christmas Toerag. This is fantabulous... thanks for the chuckles. LOL.

Maree

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

12 posted 2004-12-21 03:02 PM

What an absolute delight - and laughter is one of the finest gifts to be given - thank you-

Happy Holidays -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

13 posted 2004-12-21 08:44 PM

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

14 posted 2004-12-21 09:20 PM

LOL! Hey Toe, good to see you.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

15 posted 2004-12-22 11:10 PM

You just ain't right, boy. When I get time I'm gonna have to git out the paddle again but until then amuse yourself with this til I get around to you. Merry Christmas, turtle lips