Weighing down the Easy Smile (battling depression)

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A Tone of Voice
Member

since 2001-07-18

Posts 287

0 posted 2004-12-20 02:28 PM

Lying on a bed of glass
Contemplating in the essence of perfectly still
Purpose is apparent (somewhere)
In the recesses
Attempting to hide and seek time creates
A rhythm of rising descend
Through a journey the carousel
Fingers extend (hungry)
Attempting to touch the brass
In this whisper of---IS this all there is?
It’s hushed my sweet bye and bye
(where I long to be)
Sitting in a pew as grand-mommy sings off key
Divided by this pendulum swing
Attached like an albatross
Securely tight weighing down
The easy smile

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

1 posted 2004-12-20 02:29 PM

Mental illness is one of the hardest battles there is....powerful words, A Tone of Voice.

~sky

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas! Jesus is the reason for the season!!

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

2 posted 2004-12-20 03:09 PM

Very well done...but this line got me:

"A rhythm of rising descend"

very cool!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

A Tone of Voice
Member

since 2001-07-18

Posts 287

3 posted 2004-12-20 03:12 PM

skyshine---yes it is a difficult battle and the majority of the time I sucessfully combat the malady, but---sometimes it's helps to write! Thank you~

~ATOV

A Tone of Voice
Member

since 2001-07-18

Posts 287

4 posted 2004-12-20 03:32 PM

Susan C---thank you, that's the way it feels at times a rising descend! *smile*

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

5 posted 2004-12-20 06:03 PM

Very cool poem ATOV. I understand it oh too well. Battling depression is not easy. There are times I stop taking my Trazadone and Effexor and I get really moody. To tell the truth though I hate floating in a drug induced (it will be okay) cloud. When my sleeplessness gets to bad I start taking the meds again...but for now people are just going to have to put up with me being moody. There are deep reasons why Christmas drags me down each year...once it is over things usually get better. Oh well I have rambled long enough. Cool poem.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2004-12-20 06:13 PM

awesome

A Tone of Voice
Member

since 2001-07-18

Posts 287

7 posted 2004-12-20 06:43 PM

EV2----actually at the moment I'm doing ok, this was written previously during a spell. Thank goodness due to a change in diet, exercise, supplements (St. John's Wort, Holy Basil) I'm drug free much better than when I was taking anti-depressants. I can't say I'm happy you understand because I realize the depths of hell depression is capable of creating, but it's comforting that you do. I hope your mood lifts soon! ~hugz~

serenity blaze----ahhh, thanks you!! :-)

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2004-12-20 07:01 PM

My eldest battles with bipolar disorder.  Her highs and lows are so extreme that she never knows when she needs help except when she can't seem to help herself.  As the parent of a woman who battles her highs and lows every day, I can say, yes, I understand;

and I understand as a grandmother, a mother, a parent and child...what we present to the world, and how we present ourselves.  Sometimes I think even sanity is an illness that we strive for...as some work so hard to appear "normal".  What is normal to Him, I wonder?

I recently received an e-mail that's making the rounds [again] come this time of year, where Ronald Reagan tells the story of Jesus as if he had walked the earth only yesterday...

if you haven't seen it, ATOV, and wish to read it, I would be pleased to send it to you.  E-mail me if you wish to have it.  In the meantime?  I send my

and good wishes for your holiday season...make it the best you can.

Sunshine

A Tone of Voice
Member

since 2001-07-18

Posts 287

9 posted 2004-12-20 07:07 PM

Thank you sunshine, yes please do email it!

I think one of major stumbling blocks of mental illness is the lack of understanding and empathy----by those who haven't been there or have loved ones who have, but hopefully that seems to be changing. The scary thing is it also seems to be increasing (mental illness)! Hopefully that will change soon too.

Merry Christmas to you and yours! :-)

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

10 posted 2004-12-20 07:08 PM

AToV,
Well done. I wrote one comparing it to a roller coaster. I wish you peace, joy and hope. Bless you.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

11 posted 2004-12-20 07:10 PM

Ah, I know this struggle all to well - you will see it in much of my penning - I am happy you successfully challenge its hold most of the time - and offer a heart for those times when it becomes too hard to bear -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

12 posted 2004-12-20 07:12 PM

I too know all too well how the bouts of depression can pull one down.
Yes..I seem to be able to do some of my best writing during those periods.
Sending big heart hugs your way.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

13 posted 2004-12-20 09:32 PM

You have written well of this dark abyss.
I too live with depression and anxiety.
But, life never is all comfort and joy, so we just go on. We can take heart knowing that we are not alone. hugs, Chris

Don't forget my presents!!

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

14 posted 2004-12-20 10:26 PM

You wrote the demon well, and I think you have a lot of company suffering the same as yourself. The numbers of those suffering are sure increasing due to the stress of the "havings" becoming even more important to people than the "needs." Depression is a hard one to ride that is for sure, and I always compare it to riding a bike, once you know how, you just get back on and ride again. I wish you all the best for the coming season, and hang in there as you know it is a temporary feeling that always lifts eventually.

Merry Christmas to you ATOV.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

15 posted 2004-12-20 10:59 PM

A powerful poem, that touches many people, including me. I have lived with and loved those with depression or by poler disease. I offer you my wish that you have loved ones that understand and stay with you through the termoil. My best to you. It took courage to write and post this poem...I commend you for it!

A Tone of Voice
Member

since 2001-07-18

Posts 287

16 posted 2004-12-21 08:09 AM

Larry C, Susan, Enchantress, Nightshade, Mysteria, Martie---(as well as the others) I'm touched more than I can adequately express that each of you came forward to express your sentiments--concerning the subject of this poem. Sincerely, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

~Atov

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