navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #34 » Six Roses Die on a Table Nearby
Open Poetry #34
Post A Reply Post New Topic Six Roses Die on a Table Nearby Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533


0 posted 2004-12-17 04:28 PM


    
.
.
.
.
Six roses die on a table nearby,

4 others, plastic, trumpet the corner.
Here like a coroner I’m left to ask why
each must die, why life’s beauty’d forsworn her?

Each rose that dies on a table nearby

volleyed Sun, burst as jewel from what borne her.
Grew straight as a spear, without peer to the eye,
as was clear, all who knew her adored her.

Each rose that dies on a table nearby

never cried when the gardener shorn her.
Why should she fear, she so young (but a year)? Why
revered! Had not coronet sprigs adorned her?

Each rose that dies on a table nearby

long felt that the point of the thorns, her
followers, to lift her to mirror the sky.
Why surely in danger they’d warn her?

Each rose that dies on a table nearby,

crimson lipped coronets offered towards her
Sun, all the gold she’d enfolded held high.
Why would e’re such warm promise forlorn her?

Each rose that dies on a table nearby,

humbly bows, osteo-posed, prayer worn, more
than aware that the others held there, sigh
at baby’s breath doily-fade, leaves torn. For

each rose that dies on a table nearby

knows her reach for the Sun has outworn her.
His warmth on a plain with the others here, why
enough till earth’s season reforms her.


Six roses die on a table nearby.

No report that I’d write would e’er scorn them.
They, season’s beauties reached for the light, cry I
for faux lilies, quartets hired to mourn them.

© Copyright 2004 Richard S. Wells jr. - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2004-12-17 05:27 PM


Richard

I was worried up until the last, that you were going to be upset with florists like me.  I don't like fake flowers either...I did like your poem!  

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2004-12-17 05:47 PM


Now if those six roses were mine...I'd dry them..
I have a lot of dried bouquets hanging from my dining room ceiling.
Great write..love the pic!!
Hugs~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2004-12-17 07:03 PM


outstanding!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2004-12-17 08:51 PM


Each rose that dies on a table nearby,

crimson lipped coronets offered towards her
Sun, all the gold she’d enfolded held high.
Why would e’re such warm promise forlorn her?

Each rose that dies on a table nearby,

humbly bows, osteo-posed, prayer worn, more
than aware that the others held there, sigh
at baby’s breath doily-fade, leaves torn. For

each rose that dies on a table nearby

knows her reach for the Sun has outworn her.
His warmth on a plain with the others here, why
enough till earth’s season reforms her.

======================================


smiling at you poet sir...
how very clever your muse is...
how wonderful your gift of pen ...
loved the inspire behind this.
Every where we look there is potential poetry...you took this to a delightful level of both inspire and rhyme.

Enjoyed the repetative line and touch of melancholy woven in this...shades of Shakespeare, Shelly, and Poe.
Excellent writing Richard.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2004-12-18 08:42 AM


Each rose that dies on a table nearby,

humbly bows, osteo-posed, prayer worn, more
than aware that the others held there, sigh
at baby’s breath doily-fade, leaves torn. For

each rose that dies on a table nearby

knows her reach for the Sun has outworn her.
His warmth on a plain with the others here, why
enough till earth’s season reforms her.

~*~

All of it, yes, all...
wonderfully wrought,
but these particular lines,
well, they just shook me
to the bone...

Richard, you've no idea how much we all appreciate your return to Passions...and how much we hope you continue penning not only for yourself, but for us, as well...

Thank you.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
6 posted 2004-12-18 02:43 PM


Amazing write! Wow!

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
7 posted 2004-12-18 03:19 PM


Very Shelly and very original.  You can take anything and write about it, until there are no words left to describe it, and this is proof.  Sad ribbons I read wound into this write, and they tied the parcel well.
stevebrklynnyc
Member
since 2004-01-04
Posts 292
GA, Camden
8 posted 2004-12-19 04:27 AM


RS, deep write, I can only wish to be that good!
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
9 posted 2004-12-19 08:46 AM


A mournful tribute, beautifully woven...the repitition adds to the sadness and enhances the beauty. I couldn't help but think of the loss of a person tied to each rose.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2004-12-19 08:52 AM


All life transforms ...

Beautiful, deep write.

Love, Margherita

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2004-12-19 10:35 AM


Richard
­
Dang! this is a good poem!

The kind I like to read for breakfast, breaking the fast of the night...

The thoughts in this takes me far from what you may have intended, or maybe not...

I see a relationship (in this poem) with the idea of perfection, as is instilled in the modern mind, as something that is everlasting, or near so..

"The plastic flowers are the symbol of that..

"4 others, plastic, trumpet the corner."

And you question

"Here like a coroner I’m left to ask why
each must die, why life’s beauty’d forsworn her?"

But has life beauty really "forsworn" them?

The roses have been cut from their life force and are dieing, and in that death we see our own.. But their is a certain beauty in their death...They could not adorn the table in their prime without it pending...and so their existence in this state is not ugly...What nature tells us is that we see our reflection in what she presents, all things, foul or lovely...

But we cannot see our true reflections in plastic inorganics... we can only imagine what they represent...

The picture here, shows the dieing roses, and in the background are the Plastic Callas (lilies) who are a symbol of peace and life.

As seems always ( when I read a new poem) and old poem comes to mind..One that mentions both types of flowers...

The Lilly
by William Blake

"The modest Rose puts forth a thorn:
The humble Sheep. a threatening horn:
While the Lily white, shall in Love delight,
Nor a thorn nor a threat stain her beauty bright"

The lilies in your picture show no thorn (death) and no threat to "stain her (their) beauty bright" but to me they are not as beautiful as the roses, even as they die...my eyes touching them (the roses) are a confirmation of acceptance of reality that I cannot turn away from...not so when I view the plastic flowers, my emotions are not charged by their longevity and seeming immortality....

Sorry  for rambling on...Poems such as this one make me cross my eyes and concentrate on the spaces between the leaves instead of just looking at the tree...

I'll shut up now and refrain...Dang! this is a good poem...

____________ice/ford
   ><>


­­
­

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2004-12-19 11:16 AM


just came back to inhale this ones cadenced beauty again... reading aloud is a must ...
quite the impressive write here poet sir.

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
13 posted 2004-12-19 12:49 PM


No was that a great critique or what?  Ford, you just said what I am sure we all wished we had known enough to say.  One day, we will be reading this man in print, I just know it
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
14 posted 2004-12-19 01:04 PM


to be born
only to be sold
in appeals
for love
or forgiveness

pity the rose

her remains
feebly pressed
into memories
laying in
hardcover coffins

truly the martyr
of all flowers

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

15 posted 2004-12-19 04:08 PM


Thank you all for commenting. 'ice,' I'll be needing someone to write a forward to the book I'm going to put together 'one of these days'....lol.

Youth is often a time of great idealism, boundless energy, the daring of death unknown.
We’ve all seen youth’s impatience, the angst of being ‘left out’ of ‘happenings” and rush to grow to ‘that place’ unimpeded. Seldom is it realized by each when ‘that place’ for them was attained if measured by the loud ‘youth as idol’ culture (‘4 others, plastic, trumpet the corner’). It may have been fleeting physical beauty, a high degree, an arguably successful career, a measurable stability of residence to an unfortunate or in hindsight a no longer stingy and ignorant definition of love which yet offers its hope (allure?). Some denial exists through the inevitable (“never cried when the gardener shorn her”) losses which all lives incur (innocence on one of its many levels?) Even though each step from innocence/idealism is one away from denial and to acceptance/realism, the unblemished ideal/idol still trumpets an alluring promise from the corner (‘sprig’ and adornment the trappings of cosmetics? compliments? self-delusion?) the thorns keeping away truth perhaps the flatterers (friends always available at a price…’surely they’d warn her’? Drink? Pills?).

     The only vague vision held up to suggest life beyond youth (for we average Joe’s) is a promise of a hazy but warming Supreme Being (Sun). We all start to recall the older, dying flowers’ humble prayers and reach hard in its direction. Many of the louder religions (for there too some “..others, plastic, trumpet..” as though marketing youth) even teach that youth’s innocence is a ‘mirror’ of their idol/ideal and should be mimicked.

    Most in their own time realize they’ve had that hour when each was a “crimson lipped coronet” that outshone the plastic trumpets as only a real being could an ideal. Each must eventually come to accept that all those things held up as the ideal, things which once acquired were promised as needed for a benchmark of a life, were unnecessary. Resignation to the inevitable and to the only real certainty that we/they will be returned to earth for recycling and acceptance of this and that the time spent in appreciation of the other, unique and alive inhabitants was time well spent. That to have known what it was to grow and appreciate each ones’ time in the light is reason enough for existence. That to deny the final realities of life would ask we mourn a life lived as a live rose but remembered as a posing, one dimensional victim of the culture.

  The author can’t pass judgment on how each life is lived only tries to appreciate that each was lived and not too much regretted in the long shadows of age or death. The beauty was/is in living and that we lived.            


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2004-12-20 03:30 PM




Putting this back to the top so we can all gain from such constructive critiques...


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #34 » Six Roses Die on a Table Nearby

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary