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~eternal child~
Junior Member

since 2004-11-23

Posts 31

0 posted 2004-11-23 07:24 AM

you
are like that
bold and full
of stars and bells
of crap
and noises
of the sea
you walk
a dream like
a dead man
with lids open
and ears shut
with hips
in thrust

i am
your whore
and i
open like lilies

it is how you
want me to be
and you shine
like the moon
but you
are my war
and that
is how
you’ll get it

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

1 posted 2004-11-23 07:31 AM

whewww, very very intense

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2004-11-23 07:35 AM

~eternal child~
You write it like it is, enjoyed.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2004-11-23 07:36 AM

Well, Lee certainly said it first, and best. Welcome to Passions, ~eternal child~...here's to watching your poetry grow!

Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting!

Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen? Keeping in mind, I must stand close...and keep my promises...

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

4 posted 2004-11-23 07:36 AM

Straight to the point..thank you and welcome...

Goldenrose.

~eternal child~
Junior Member

since 2004-11-23

Posts 31

5 posted 2004-11-23 07:43 AM

thank you all very much

Sunshine thanks for the special greeting

i know i will enjoy being here

~ec~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

6 posted 2004-11-23 11:36 AM

powerful writing! I enjoyed your first post. Welcome to Passions.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2004-11-23 12:08 PM

Welcome to Passions!
I know you will love it here.
I look forward to seeing more of your work.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~ Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me ~

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

8 posted 2004-11-23 01:52 PM

EternalChild~
Welcome to PiP ... it will be interesting to read more of you~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

9 posted 2004-11-23 01:55 PM

Whoa…
Good, and
to the point.

JL

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

10 posted 2004-11-25 07:02 AM

dang! I do understand this very very well!

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

11 posted 2004-11-25 01:13 PM

Love this ~eternal child~! Welcome To Passions!

And a Happy Thanksgiving to you...

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

12 posted 2004-11-26 06:14 PM

like...James

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

13 posted 2004-11-26 07:02 PM

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

14 posted 2004-11-26 07:41 PM

Good strong write. Welcome to Passions!

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

15 posted 2004-11-26 11:29 PM

welcome ~child~! good write. were you referring to me?

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

16 posted 2004-11-27 09:06 AM

Welcome to Pips, hope you enjoy your poetic 'battles' and the friendships you can make in this blue skyspace.

~K~
Member

since 2004-07-27

Posts 148

17 posted 2004-11-28 02:46 AM

yes, you are mine
& you shine
like heaven's
party favors.

You slide from
innocence,
a willing victim
is a happy puppet.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

18 posted 2004-11-28 05:35 AM

I forgot to welcome you

the warmest of hugs

M

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

19 posted 2004-11-28 07:11 AM

Very raw. An interesting and enjoying read, thanks for sharing

Andrew

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

20 posted 2004-11-28 07:58 AM

Welcome to Pip!!

Loved this piece and look forward to more!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

21 posted 2004-11-29 12:57 PM

I am typically a little bit slow at replying, I seem to not login at the right times.

Welcome to the forums! This place is wonderful, the people are great and it is a phenomenal place to be able to call home. I do hope you post more poetry in the future, your first post was beautiful such a great write.

I hope you stay forever, because forever is this a home. Welcome to the halls of blue.

Smile Kellie

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

22 posted 2004-11-29 03:12 PM

eternal child

Welcome! I like this! The impact has alot to do with the dichotomy of the words you have used....like, saying stars and bells and then putting in the word "crap". Another example is:

"i am
your whore
and i
open like lilies"

I look forward to reading more of your poetry...and thanking you here for your reply to mine.

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

23 posted 2005-01-13 11:01 AM

"you
are like that
bold and full
of stars and bells
of crap
and noises
of the sea
you walk
a dream like
a dead man
with lids open
and ears shut
with hips
in thrust

i am
your whore
and i
open like lilies

it is how you
want me to be
and you shine
like the moon
but you
are my war
and that
is how
you’ll get it"

{"yes, you are mine
& you shine
like heaven's
party favors.

You slide from
innocence,
a willing victim
is a happy puppet"}

and in this pull
of string
and dancing
on paper waves
a diety betrayed
with gaping mouth
you praise
and delay

this blossoming.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

24 posted 2005-01-14 12:20 PM

wow..all apologies for not having read your work before..a very belated welcome to pip

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

25 posted 2005-01-14 03:20 PM

I too had not read this - very intense - sharp

I too add my belated welcome -

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

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