My Date with Sue How-Do-You-Do

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Justin Genius
Member

since 2001-04-02

Posts 85

0 posted 2004-07-30 12:08 PM

My Date with Sue How-do-you-do

I dressed up in my Birthday suit and  Doc his orange vest,
And headed for the restaurant - I looked my very best!
The people went down on their knees when I entered the room;
I think they were in ecstasy by Justin's new perfume.

My hair was looking wild enough I hoped, 'cause I had not
Used comb or brush at all last week, so I'd look like a sot;
Despite my surplus confidence, I felt some tension too
And hoped to be "a dream come true" to Sue Howdoyoudo.

I was a little puzzled how to recognize my date,
For all she said was: "I'll find you, make sure you aren't late."
Just when I called the waiter to relax with some red wine,
A Lady walked up to my table followed by a swine.

"My name is Sue - How-do-you-do and this is Porky Pig;
He's like a child to me, although he's grown a little big,
But don't you worry, Justin dear, he's well brought up you see,
He loves spaghetti Bolognese and only drinks ice tea.

He's potty trained and does the dishes twice every day,
Pig loves a hug from time to time and never walks away;
He's always been the sweetest pig, it almost hurts my teeth."
I couldn't count my luck! Two Loons instead of one! How neat!

We ate spaghetti Bolognese and made an awesome mess,
And had a contest burping loud - I lost I must confess.
I still don't understand why people quickly paid and ran;
They obviously never witnessed parties from the Clan.

The waiter came and said "There is a phone call for Miss Sue."
"Excuse me guys," she said, I'll soon return for fun anew."
Oh what a gal! Can't wait to introduce her to the 'Stute!
Not only is she fun and smart, she's really, really cute.

The moment she was gone the pig turned 'round and said: "'Twas fine,
to dine, but now you better take a hike, because she's mine;
I'm not a pig, I am a man and I'm under a spell,
An Irish Coffee's all I need - yet Sue I cannot tell."

The pig could talk? He was a man and under evil spell?
And Irish Coffee was his need, but Sue he could not tell?
No matter how the cat got killed by curiosity,
'Twas  Justin Jest! Baloney! For myself I had to see!

"One coffee please, the Irish kind, for Mr. Porky Pig,
Please with a straw! And bucket! 'Cause this pork chop might get sick!"
And while I watched him drink his brew Miss Sue returned and said:
"Please give me one of these as well and add a cherry red."

Well sure enough I proved him wrong, but horror marked my face,
When Sue changed to Miss Piggy, squawking loudly "Pigs in Space!"
I felt it was enough and hit the road in mortal fear!
I'm happy with the pig I am, let that be crystal clear!

I screamed and cried and yelled real loud all way back to the 'Stute:
"That's what you get for wearing orange vest and birthday suit!"
I sure had fun, that much is true, but I'll still write a mail,
To have Sue taken off that list from Dating Service Gayle!

Justin Genius

For those interested how I got this date: /pip/Forum90/HTML/000667.html

[This message has been edited by Justin Genius (07-31-2004 02:23 PM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2004-07-30 12:12 PM

ROTFL
what a mess!

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

2 posted 2004-07-30 12:44 PM

LOL! LOL! Enjoyed your piggy tale...

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

3 posted 2004-07-30 12:45 PM

and thus is the stigma of my name...

oh yes...

even when I was in the Navy...they would yell:

"Here Suey, Suey, Suey"

and those were my somewhat demented friends...

JG~ enjoyed!!

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

4 posted 2004-07-31 11:07 AM

Dear Justin,
Well Justin I admire you, for telling us your tale,
about your date with Piggy/Sue, from dating service Gayle.
'tis not so often I get out, away from dear old "Stute",
and must admit the threesome of you looked just down right cute!

I must be off, orange vest and all, to go sing in the rain,
but hope to see you real soon, as well as Justin Sayne.
Doc

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (08-01-2004 09:09 AM).]

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

5 posted 2004-07-31 11:34 AM

Ah ha ha ha ha. Thanks for the giggles.

Susan

btw, that suey thing Susan C mentioned, let's not go there

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

6 posted 2004-07-31 01:05 PM

Justin Genius what a tale! Very clever.

Justin Genius
Member

since 2001-04-02

Posts 85

7 posted 2004-07-31 02:17 PM

Thanks folks for your replies. What would I do without them.

Doc, please be kind enough to stay around with that vest! I might need it for another date, but I guess you won't go any further than the Workshop uh?