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Open Poetry #33
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-07-28 11:10 PM



These are the stormy days
fragile, thick as air
where hours grow darker
just below veils of midnight

Somewhere, lovers  create their own patterns
yet I await   black eyes
reaching for stillness--
artless motion --
movement of crimson  

I have waited for this storm
greeted it knowing
the moon would never settle
for pure white

I have sought for years to
remember the tender notes
or how  air would fill the sky
with amber hues
or the smudge of fingerprints
on hollow gray

{and  I cannot remember what
the color of roses mean  
'he loves me no he loves me not'}


My frustrated desires have lead me astray
that I would have to admit --
I am always walking one-step behind the dream

The final green--
we pick up the moments
toss them aside for anything
that will make us happy
the saying is in the paintings
we only pause for each lesson learned

it was on a Friday night
when I remembered
how the jazz of rain has

affected my life


~~**~~

{Greatly inspired and Muse dedicated}


I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone though you're still with me
I've been alone all along..Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

© Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2004-07-28 11:13 PM


Lauren

"The final green--
we pick up the moments
toss them aside for anything
that will make us happy
the saying is in the paintings
we only pause for each lesson learned"

I wish that I knew the secret of your beauty.  It is so apparent in your words.  


Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
2 posted 2004-07-28 11:18 PM


**sigh** The beauty of your words draw gentleness from the heart....Stunning write...

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
3 posted 2004-07-29 12:45 PM


I can only see this through a man's eyes....but there is so much in it that my limitations don't matter very much. Your poems bless, and they teach. I hope you know that.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
4 posted 2004-07-29 12:50 PM


truly an artistic write filled with stirring beauty.

susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

5 posted 2004-07-29 12:55 PM


...beautifully painful
   and haunting...

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2004-07-29 01:12 AM


"The final green--
we pick up the moments
toss them aside for anything
that will make us happy
the saying is in the paintings
we only pause for each lesson learned"

*Sigh* I find myself doing that sometimes, too, Lauren.  Good  write.   ....jo


Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

7 posted 2004-07-29 07:28 AM


smiling at you sis....even when you hurt, you are so very beautiful....
and your words allow us to see your beauty.
love you girlie....

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
8 posted 2004-07-29 07:37 AM


Always a wonderful read when it's your work.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2004-07-29 09:20 AM


Somewhere, lovers  create their own patterns
yet I await   black eyes
reaching for stillness--
artless motion --
movement of crimson  

I have waited for this storm
greeted it knowing
the moon would never settle
for pure white

I have sought for years to
remember the tender notes
or how  air would fill the sky
with amber hues
or the smudge of fingerprints
on hollow gray

===========================


the jazz of rain...the soul of your words...
you are a soul poet L-girl.


I have waited for this storm
greeted it knowing
the moon would never settle
for pure white



yeeessssss ... exactly

and oh how I needed to read your words.

I would love to live as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.

~Fluent~
John O'Donohue

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2004-07-29 09:28 AM


Beautiful Lauren...hauntingly beautiful!
Heart hugs pretty lady~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain ~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

11 posted 2004-07-29 10:28 AM


Lauren, this describes so emotionally, so bittersweet those times in life that make the waiting worthwhile, when that certain someone comes along who is not affraid of your love...and he will, I promise.

Hugs

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
12 posted 2004-07-29 10:40 AM


Greeneyes
You whisper the sounds of the dove.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

13 posted 2004-07-29 11:33 AM


bravo dear lady.. bravo...
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2004-07-29 12:19 PM


wow
Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
15 posted 2004-07-30 10:51 PM


Thank you all for the touching replies....I appreciate your time in reading and responding...


very kindly

Lauren~

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone though you're still with me
I've been alone all along..Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

aujussy wolf
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Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
16 posted 2004-07-31 10:36 AM


the saying is in the paintings
we only pause for each lesson learned


ahh yess , beautiful use of words
the paintings bit really grabbed me , keep in touch L , peace J

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

17 posted 2004-07-31 12:14 PM


I've read this a few times already and shame on me for not commenting sooner.

I keep getting lost in thought as I remember once, listening to the rain on a metal awning and thinking, "Coltrane..."



You are always a delight to read, but this one struck that chord of nodding-knowing in me.

*snaps* lady

Contabo
Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159

18 posted 2004-07-31 04:35 PM


It is always a delight to read you and this is no exception.

I enjoyed.

Contabo

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
19 posted 2004-08-01 04:34 AM


Enjoyed...James
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
20 posted 2004-08-01 07:17 PM


'the jazz of rain'
understanding this, and loving that line

Broken
Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271
The woods
21 posted 2004-08-01 11:03 PM


Very poetic and moving write.
I like it  

~Broken~

"Base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away."

Peter Steele

[This message has been edited by Broken (08-01-2004 11:55 PM).]

Robert Joseph
Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491
South Carolina
22 posted 2004-09-24 09:42 PM


The colors are endless, in this soulful painting...passion is thriving in full tilt.
Greatly enjoyed!

                       Robert Joseph

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
23 posted 2004-09-25 12:13 PM


I have waited for this storm
greeted it knowing
the moon would never settle
for pure white

I have sought for years to
remember the tender notes
or how  air would fill the sky
with amber hues
or the smudge of fingerprints
on hollow gray
.................................

I always enjoy reading your works as they give us new boundaries for he writers playing field.  Loved the read and the beauty you put in it as always

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
24 posted 2004-09-25 02:03 PM


DAMN! That was good!  Hit a nerve with me, been there, and done that I guess as I too cannot remember, but know that a rose was him!  
{and  I cannot remember what
the color of roses mean  
'he loves me no he loves me not'}

Lauren, this poem was pure magic.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

25 posted 2004-09-25 07:21 PM


The final green--
we pick up the moments
toss them aside for anything
that will make us happy
the saying is in the paintings
we only pause for each lesson learned


Wow! Love this.

It's always such a pleasure to read you Lauren.

Maree


Well I see you doing, What I try to do for me, With the words from a poet, And a voice from a choir, And a melody, nothing else matters. ~Stevie Nicks

soul drifter
Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711
Colorado
26 posted 2004-09-25 10:56 PM


It's a good thing I was sitting while reading this poem; I'm quite certain my knees would turn to butter and I would collapse, overwhelmed and blessed by the beauty of this piece...and only works of pure beauty and perfectly spoken emotion do that to me, i.e. the album Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys. This is just as memorable and lovely as that work of art. Enough overemotiong from me; I just gotta say: you are a truly incredible poet.

Thanks.

"Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey

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