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miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

0 posted 2004-07-24 12:33 PM

Beautiful spinster lay to rest
In chilled feather bed
hands warming inked paper
of cardboard jewelry box.

      White on black or black on white;
      It penned of him
      Of his black ink mazes

      “YOU” start here
      Go thin walls from arrow’s point
      Be careful the way you turn.
      Remember where you’ve been”

      The varied lines their width and shape
      Thinning walls to pinhole gates
      only a clever eye could  make
        or
      Follow.

She’d had her age of mazes
And determined  his not to try,
Had never opened the box,
But figured she should before she'd die.

       Her fingers momentarily twiddled
       A circle of gold mohair
       Snaked along old finger

       Shaky palms unhinged the lid,
       Then she began to giggle.
       Underneath, another maze he’d hid.

                  With such intrique she wondered
                  Where for all these years he’d been.

             With this maze he versed:

                   "Through thin walls from an arrow’s point
                   Be careful the way you turn,
                    I’ll go with you every bit the end,
                    But for you,
                    I’ll set you free.

                    Remember where we’ve been”


            In the box, browned four leaf clover
            Resting upon soft cotton;
            Familiar to smiling eyes of once
            Unready lover

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2004-07-24 12:45 PM

" With this maze he versed:

                   Through thin walls an arrow’s point
                   Be careful the way you turn,
                    I’ll go with you every bit the end,
                    But for you,
                    I’ll set you free.

                    Remember where you’ve been”

            In the box, browned four leaf clover
            Resting upon soft cotton;
            Familiar to smiling eyes of
            Once unready lover "

A mesmerizing write...I was totally swept away from the title on...
Wonderful words...you are very talented!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain ~

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

2 posted 2004-07-24 01:27 PM

Nancy,
   I'm glad you enjoyed.  "Mesmerizing,"
that's a word to be used when I read your wonderful poetry.  It is always of perfection and absorbs me within it.  Thanks for your overwhelmingly sweet response!
                 misc'e

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2004-07-24 01:29 PM

A charming write to mark
300 posts...

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

4 posted 2004-07-24 01:44 PM

Wow...this is masterful!

Eric

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-07-24 02:06 PM

wow..wish I could write like that

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

6 posted 2004-07-24 02:18 PM

What a romantic poem, misc'e! A maze within a maze with a lucky ending! Much enjoyed.

.....jo

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

7 posted 2004-07-24 02:26 PM

Enjoyed the maze, the underlying romance of
years past and now...very intriguing.

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

8 posted 2004-07-24 02:40 PM

Thank you, Everyone. I appreciate your responses. I just had to try a fiction. Glad you liked it!
misc'e

[This message has been edited by miscellanea (07-24-2004 04:16 PM).]

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

9 posted 2004-07-25 09:00 PM

What perfect descriptions...what a sharp mind you have dear poet.
TD

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

10 posted 2004-07-26 12:00 PM

TD,
  Thanks for your kindness.  I like the ideas in this, but envy people who can trim down to fewer words. I wish I knew a way of spinning a tale that would lead the reader where I want to take them, but at the same time give lots of room between for pausing, allowing more participation.  I'm not at that stage yet.  I envy those who are!
  Thanks again for the fine compliment.

               misc'e

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

11 posted 2004-07-26 09:41 PM

I enjoyed every single word and every single twist and turn of this maze.
A thoroughly enjoyable read!

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

12 posted 2004-07-26 09:44 PM

Sigh and cry

. Perhaps today, in my tender mood, I should not have read this, but I'm glad I did, for it is lovely.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

13 posted 2004-07-27 05:37 AM

Midnitesun,
   Glad you enjoyed it!  Know I enjoy reading yours!
                  misc'e

Susan,
   Tender you.  I hope the mood befriends you.  Thanks for your response.
                 misc'e

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

14 posted 2004-07-29 04:01 PM

Fantastic tale... I loved every line of it! *S*

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

15 posted 2004-07-29 04:07 PM

Thanks, suthern,
My mind just kept wandering when I wrote this. I didn't know how it would turn out until the end, and by that time I knew the characters, and it saddened me. Glad you enjoyed.
misc'e

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