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icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2004-07-17 06:25 AM

You came in under radar,
I was preoccupied.
My day had sucked
but it was my own fault,
when you asked
of course I'd lied,
said I was fine,
I wonder
if you'll ever know what it costs me
every time
to be kind to you,
not rip your head off,
pour venom down your throat;
part of me
will always vote for torture
and disguise
as justified responses
to a source of treachery
bitterness and pain,
of course
I can't trust myself not to devolve,
start to use those old skills again
for profit
or just to entertain,
so I let social proprieties dictate
that I refrain and just rely on lies
and smiles
when dealing publicly
with humans,
demons,
bums,
success whores
and even social butterflies;
so I answered all your questions,
planned out your next few moves
sent you on your way,
for it behooves me always
to keep these contact times as brief as possible,
before old grief comes bubbling up,
like tar in anguish pits
that pock and scar the private landscape of my soul,
pools of goo,
emotional stew
laced
with fossilized bones of love
cooked down to bare essentials,
remnants
of trust
and dreams that died
unexpectedly.

©2004 by icebox

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 2004-07-17 07:40 AM

icebox
I'd say you did justice to your feelings,
Very good write.

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

2 posted 2004-07-17 07:46 AM

As we rise to face another round... Good mornin' sir ice...

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

3 posted 2004-07-17 11:35 AM

Ouch! I've felt like this. My heart to you, as I know what bad company such feelings can be. I really like the construction and wording of this write, it has teeth.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

4 posted 2004-07-17 04:14 PM

"to keep these contact times as brief as possible,
before old grief comes bubbling up,
like tar in anguish pits
that pock and scar the private landscape of my soul,
pools of goo,
emotional stew
laced
with fossilized bones of love
cooked down to bare essentials,
remnants
of trust
and dreams that died
unexpectedly."

To share your self-examination publically is the mark of the true poet. This analogy above, I thought, was outstanding.......jo

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

5 posted 2004-07-17 04:55 PM

Impressive!
Love, Margherita

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

6 posted 2004-07-17 05:58 PM

You always leave me sitting here shaking my head in awe of your talent.
Wonderful write sir.

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain ~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2004-07-17 06:53 PM

"...the next sun..."

Somehow, I like that...

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

8 posted 2004-07-17 08:01 PM

"if you'll ever know what it costs me
every time
to be kind to you,
not rip your head off,
pour venom down your throat;
part of me
will always vote for torture
and disguise"

I know this feeling and I know how it feels to give in to it...and sometimes it's worth it to purge.

Wonderfully written.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

9 posted 2004-07-17 11:27 PM

you're a better man for being kind...but having those visions is okay too...sometimes they are all that gets you by

I know

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

10 posted 2004-07-18 12:19 PM

It's true that sometimes things lost can't be regained....I know that so very well...and those things can be the most important of all.

It's also surprising how many "lost" things we've really just put aside because there's a bigger gain from something that comes to us from believing they're gone, than out of the ordinary act of going over to where we left them, and picking them up again.

Swim across the riptide and then turn toward shore. If you're not down-current from your island, you're home free.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light