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Open Poetry #33
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suthern
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0 posted 2004-10-08 02:34 PM


My lack of iambic pentameter
Might shroud me with guilt but does not deter
Me from writing my heart, but it is hard
To watch as my meter converts to yard!

My rhythm will simply not plod along
If one line fits right, the next one is wrong
Correct syllable count, poor emphasis
Leaves me frustrated and shaking my fist.

Free verse allows me to have a good time
But then I find myself missing my rhyme
I guess words will exist just as they come
With little concern for the great dah-DUM!


© Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved
Ratleader
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
1 posted 2004-10-08 02:37 PM


Laura Ruth, ya make me laugh! I needed exactly this poem, exactly now....you keep smiling too, y'hear?

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
2 posted 2004-10-08 02:40 PM


Hehe - this is smilarific!

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

suthern
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3 posted 2004-10-08 03:10 PM


Ratleader: I'm so glad you like this, my friend. *S* And yes... I intend to... the werk monsters can only expect so much... regardless what they ask. *S* Thank you! *S*

Susan: What a wonderful term... thank you so much! *S*

VAS
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since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
4 posted 2004-10-08 04:06 PM


I absolutely love this one! What fun you have penned!!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Martie
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California
5 posted 2004-10-08 05:21 PM


suthern girl...I sure do understand this...and you just charm the socks off these poetic words!  
Midnitesun
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Gaia
6 posted 2004-10-08 05:45 PM


LOL at that ending. Thanks for the much needed grin, m'friend.
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-10-11 08:08 PM


glad I didn't miss this one!
Pilgrimage
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since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
8 posted 2004-10-12 09:54 AM


'the great da-DUM'  This is so funny, and there are times it could be my theme song.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

9 posted 2004-10-12 10:29 AM


Suthern I too suffer from the ability to dah dum.....and also enjoy free verse. I enjoyed this also!  

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
10 posted 2004-10-12 10:32 AM


score one for freeverse...I'm with you!

**babygirL**

Toerag
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
11 posted 2004-10-12 10:34 AM


Well hell lady!!..That's the way all my poetry is?....and I just post it anyway...figure if I really do write something right it's gonna either get slam blasted by Bally or deleted...
(Of course, I don't know diddly 'bout pome-writin' anyway..and it's obvious, hell, I thought writer's block was something  Ron came up with to keep me from posting?)

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
12 posted 2004-10-12 10:34 AM


I guess words will exist just as they come
With little concern for the great dah-DUM!

~*~

Smiling here...
and all I can say is...

DITTO!

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
13 posted 2004-10-12 10:39 AM


Suthern,
   I got a large charge out of this!  I'm so silly I wouldn't know an iambic pentameter if it bit me!  (They don't bite, do they?)  However, I do admire those who have studied and know the poetic system.  I'm just too stubborn and lazy--kind of feel like the innocence of poetry should be like a virgin, untamed to the worldly ways.)  But then again, the masters knew how to make the sounds flow from heaven!(Running with this to the library!)
                  cathy
                

suthern
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14 posted 2004-10-12 12:43 PM


Thank you all so very much for receiving this so kindly... I needed to write something not gloomy for a change... even if it was about frustration! LOL

I appreciate you so much! *S*

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
15 posted 2004-10-12 06:41 PM




.nokcer I llits melborp a tub taht naht tnereffid elttil a si melborp gnitirw ym lleW

!!!!DAER ECIN

Marge Tindal
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16 posted 2004-10-12 06:47 PM


SweetSuthernGal~
You are just amazing !
I'm keeping this one for my birthday present~
Fits me to a T ... Hee~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Contabo
Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159

17 posted 2004-10-12 07:33 PM


I understand this....to the sigh......

Contabo

suthern
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18 posted 2004-10-13 04:04 PM


LOL... Ah, cowboy... I always knew there was something different about you. LOL Thanks for stopping by! *S*

Marge: What a sweet thing to say... especially considering that you are the gift to us. *S* Thank you!!

Contabo: Thank you very much! *S*


Marsha
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Maidstone Kent England
19 posted 2004-10-14 07:04 AM


Suthern beloved one what can I say beloved one but OH WOW, how on earth you can say you can’t write well is beyond me!

Love the way you write smiles onto a page, and into my heart too. YOU keep it up you hear me? Never mind what the wretched WERK MONSTER says, they don’t know the value of your golden smile, I do. It lifts me always to see it

YOU lift me up when days are dreary
Give me heart hugs when life gets teary
Your touch is sunshine mixed with grace
You send me love in its purest trace
And when the clouds cover me as they do
You send the gift of a loving hug from YOU

How could I NOT know you are very, very special
  
Love you always
and forever
Mushy


Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds
but I can face the future with courage brave and bold

Footprints In My Heart
Kethry

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
20 posted 2004-10-14 07:27 AM


I hear ya...

very cute.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
21 posted 2004-10-14 09:11 AM


With meter and foot,
I don't care a hoot.
I'd just give the boot;
I think it quite moot.

So write from your heart
Where all good words start.
And let the muse part
What's foot and what's wart.

Nice writing!  

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

22 posted 2004-10-14 10:00 AM


hehehe, tremendous perspective...thanks a bunch...enjoyed this a lot!
suthern
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23 posted 2004-10-14 05:06 PM


Mushy One: How very beautiful. *S* You see me through such kind eyes... thank you so much!!!

Susan: Thank you! *S*

kayjay: That's great!!! Thank you so much... that wart left a big smile. *G*

LeeJ: Thank you, sweet lady... very much! *S*

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

24 posted 2004-10-15 02:37 PM


woohoo...got a laptop for a day or so...
looks over her shoulder to see who is watching...and shrugs...
oh well you do what you got to

and lady? I love your writing with or without rhyme....

Mary Parry
Junior Member
since 2004-10-12
Posts 45
Felixstowe, England
25 posted 2004-10-15 03:17 PM


I know just how you feel.

Inspiration doesn't always fit a tidy poem, does it?

But this one's brill!

Mary

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
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Realms of Light
26 posted 2004-10-15 04:57 PM


Any way you write IS RIGHT, Dear Belle of the South! I love reading your poetry ~ regardless of the manner or form in which you present it!

This particular one was Quite Qute!


EA

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (10-15-2004 06:31 PM).]

Mysteria
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27 posted 2004-10-16 10:43 PM


Now you are speaking to the dumb da-dum doer remember here, so in my opinion that rhymed just fine   Stupid feet, and stuff, who has the time?
suthern
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Louisiana
28 posted 2004-10-18 04:31 PM


jellybeans: Seeing your name is always a treat... more so knowing how tough it is for you to get here... Thank you! *S*

Mary: Thank you so very much! *S*

EA: You are always so kind to me... I appreciate that so very much... Thank you! *S*

Mysteria: I was thinking of you and Kit and the dah-dum lessons when I wrote this... glad  you like it... Thank you! *S*

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