Open Poetry #33 |
To Write Right… sigh |
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
My lack of iambic pentameter Might shroud me with guilt but does not deter Me from writing my heart, but it is hard To watch as my meter converts to yard! My rhythm will simply not plod along If one line fits right, the next one is wrong Correct syllable count, poor emphasis Leaves me frustrated and shaking my fist. Free verse allows me to have a good time But then I find myself missing my rhyme I guess words will exist just as they come With little concern for the great dah-DUM! |
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© Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Laura Ruth, ya make me laugh! I needed exactly this poem, exactly now....you keep smiling too, y'hear? ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Hehe - this is smilarific! Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ratleader: I'm so glad you like this, my friend. *S* And yes... I intend to... the werk monsters can only expect so much... regardless what they ask. *S* Thank you! *S* Susan: What a wonderful term... thank you so much! *S* |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I absolutely love this one! What fun you have penned!! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
suthern girl...I sure do understand this...and you just charm the socks off these poetic words! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL at that ending. Thanks for the much needed grin, m'friend. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
glad I didn't miss this one! |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
'the great da-DUM' This is so funny, and there are times it could be my theme song. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Suthern I too suffer from the ability to dah dum.....and also enjoy free verse. I enjoyed this also! The greatest beauty on earth, is |
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
score one for freeverse...I'm with you! **babygirL** |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Well hell lady!!..That's the way all my poetry is?....and I just post it anyway...figure if I really do write something right it's gonna either get slam blasted by Bally or deleted... (Of course, I don't know diddly 'bout pome-writin' anyway..and it's obvious, hell, I thought writer's block was something Ron came up with to keep me from posting?) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I guess words will exist just as they come With little concern for the great dah-DUM! ~*~ Smiling here... and all I can say is... DITTO! |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Suthern, I got a large charge out of this! I'm so silly I wouldn't know an iambic pentameter if it bit me! (They don't bite, do they?) However, I do admire those who have studied and know the poetic system. I'm just too stubborn and lazy--kind of feel like the innocence of poetry should be like a virgin, untamed to the worldly ways.) But then again, the masters knew how to make the sounds flow from heaven!(Running with this to the library!) cathy |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Thank you all so very much for receiving this so kindly... I needed to write something not gloomy for a change... even if it was about frustration! LOL I appreciate you so much! *S* |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
.nokcer I llits melborp a tub taht naht tnereffid elttil a si melborp gnitirw ym lleW !!!!DAER ECIN |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SweetSuthernGal~ You are just amazing ! I'm keeping this one for my birthday present~ Fits me to a T ... Hee~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Contabo Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159 |
I understand this....to the sigh...... Contabo |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
LOL... Ah, cowboy... I always knew there was something different about you. LOL Thanks for stopping by! *S* Marge: What a sweet thing to say... especially considering that you are the gift to us. *S* Thank you!! Contabo: Thank you very much! *S* |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Suthern beloved one what can I say beloved one but OH WOW, how on earth you can say you can’t write well is beyond me! Love the way you write smiles onto a page, and into my heart too. YOU keep it up you hear me? Never mind what the wretched WERK MONSTER says, they don’t know the value of your golden smile, I do. It lifts me always to see it YOU lift me up when days are dreary Give me heart hugs when life gets teary Your touch is sunshine mixed with grace You send me love in its purest trace And when the clouds cover me as they do You send the gift of a loving hug from YOU How could I NOT know you are very, very special and forever Mushy Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I hear ya... very cute. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
With meter and foot, I don't care a hoot. I'd just give the boot; I think it quite moot. So write from your heart Where all good words start. And let the muse part What's foot and what's wart. Nice writing! Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
hehehe, tremendous perspective...thanks a bunch...enjoyed this a lot! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Mushy One: How very beautiful. *S* You see me through such kind eyes... thank you so much!!! Susan: Thank you! *S* kayjay: That's great!!! Thank you so much... that wart left a big smile. *G* LeeJ: Thank you, sweet lady... very much! *S* |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
woohoo...got a laptop for a day or so... looks over her shoulder to see who is watching...and shrugs... oh well you do what you got to and lady? I love your writing with or without rhyme.... |
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Mary Parry Junior Member
since 2004-10-12
Posts 45Felixstowe, England |
I know just how you feel. Inspiration doesn't always fit a tidy poem, does it? But this one's brill! Mary |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Any way you write IS RIGHT, Dear Belle of the South! I love reading your poetry ~ regardless of the manner or form in which you present it! This particular one was Quite Qute! EA [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (10-15-2004 06:31 PM).] |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Now you are speaking to the dumb da-dum doer remember here, so in my opinion that rhymed just fine Stupid feet, and stuff, who has the time? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
jellybeans: Seeing your name is always a treat... more so knowing how tough it is for you to get here... Thank you! *S* Mary: Thank you so very much! *S* EA: You are always so kind to me... I appreciate that so very much... Thank you! *S* Mysteria: I was thinking of you and Kit and the dah-dum lessons when I wrote this... glad you like it... Thank you! *S* |
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