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Open Poetry #33
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The "Perfect" Poem (a poet's lament)
| Open Poetry #33 |
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The "Perfect" Poem (a poet's lament) |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA 
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v1. Some poems are forever although the poets age Write and the word is written Then we turn the page v2. Some poems take forever caught between page and pen Fleeting thoughts only half glimpsed never to be read again br. If I could remember all of my dreams then maybe I would find the perfect poem inside of me to ease my troubled mind Chorus The more I write, the more I just feel lonely Why does it hurt so much when the things I write are true? Do my words get across the love and the loss when you don't really know me? When all the writing is through and I've done all I can do my poems will be my final gift to you |
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| © Copyright 2004 Jeff Osborne - All Rights Reserved | |||
garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
This is absolutely beautiful, Jeff. I enjoyed reading it. Hugs, Ethel |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Gift enough my friend. Peace... |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
I really enjoyed this write - written from the heart filled with love and longing Roniece Dawson-Bruce |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Very much enjoyed this piece.. would love to hear it put to music! Hugs~ ~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~ |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I always love reading what you write...beautifully sad |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA |
Paula, Enchantress, Roniece, Larry, garysgirl, Thank you for the kind words; I hope one day to put all of my "songs" to music. Obviously, I'm a sucker for sad love ballads.  After writing this poem, it struck me as rather funny because while I feel like I am finally coming "into my own" with my writing again after a long dry spell; this song would probably make a great "coda" to my work... the "perfect" last poem for a poet to write... thus the title. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go write the other three hundred poems that have been hiding in my head this past year (lol) |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
Awesome Jeff! That second verse is so well written and such truth..there are so many things in my head that will never get any further than where they are.... How good to read you again hugs, g "Now would you mind if I bared my soul / If I came right out and said you're beautiful..." B. Adams |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WRITE ON!!! |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
what a cherished gift to share with someone, your soul.... Lovely!!! |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Perfection is in baring heart and soul, in sharing depth and feeling - perfection is the movement of another soul - Enjoyed this- Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Excellent writing Jeff. So much of this is just perfect truths about writing and poetry....loved this. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
"The more I write, the more I just feel lonely Why does it hurt so much when the things I write are true?" **************** The hurt would still be there however maybe not bared so much. For me, writing is a purification and release to an extent. Great lines there with some very real questions. **************** "Do my words get across the love and the loss when you don't really know me?" **************** another great question. I think maybe we can all relate but only to the extent of what we hold from our own lives. The wonderful thing about poetry, is that is sheds a perspective of one and gives meaning to so many. **************** "When all the writing is through and I've done all I can do my poems will be my final gift to you" **************** and a gift it truely is. Wonderful read this was, and I can only imagine the music that would accompany it. I truely enjoyed the expressions in this one. |
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msrascalx Junior Member
since 2004-09-25
Posts 15Conway, SC |
Great work, seems so sad, I hope that you find your muse. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
rascalx A joy to read. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
indeed |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA |
dittydogg (ain't heard that in awhile, have ya'?  ),My mind is constantly flooded with ideas for poems and it's sad how few of them actually make it to the page. I try to jot down ideas on scraps of paper or whatever is handy but it seems that some ideas just get lost in the shuffle of life. "sigh" I should hire a personal secretary (lol) I'd say Vickie (msrascalx) could be my secretary, but when she is around I'm way too distracted to write Thanks for reading; it's good to be read again. Enchantress, LeeJ, Susan, Gentle Spirit, Seymour, shadows, Thank you all for reading and for your kind comments Vickie, Silly girl, YOU'RE my muse. I didn't start writing again until I met you. Love you  (and thanks for reading my poem of course)Mark, Writing is very therapeutic and purifying for me too. I'm glad I'm able to find release on paper. As for the music, I imagine this as a soft acoustic ballad, maybe even a'cappella - Jeff |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
Some poems take forever caught between page and pen I love this line...it speaks of sweet time I think some poems are meant to be lived with arms open wide...and if they never make it to the page, at least they have been experienced. I notice you and your wife are both on here - nice to "meet" you both; I haven't read either of your work until today |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Jeff~ I believe that seeking the elusive 'perfection' is something that keeps us all penning~ May it ever be~ Great write~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA |
Copper, Glad to "meet" you too and thanks for reading. I like your image of poems being shared with wide open arms. In a similar way, I equate posting my poems here with releasing a bunch of balloons; it's interesting and fun to see how far they "travel". Marge, Thanks for the kind words  |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
 ~~*~~ |
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BldWhtRose Junior Member
since 2001-09-24
Posts 38Alabama USA |
Hey Darling.... Hope you and Vickie are doing great! I Miss You My Bestest Buddy !!!!!! |
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