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muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

0 posted 2004-09-22 10:58 AM

You leave me dreaming here
tangled in lullabies
helplessly lingering
between what I’ve seen
and what I'm meant to believe.

The burdens far too wide
to trace with fingertips.
I hear its depths crying
for a sacrifice of pride,

and off the edge I’ll dive
into whatever lies
beyond the limitless needs
of forgotten things.

The valley sings to me
~here is where I’ll be~
falling between realities
to capture your name
in the vapoured gravity

breathe your truth into me…

Robert Frazier
Senior Member

since 2003-02-06

Posts 1014

1 posted 2004-09-22 11:01 AM

your poem has a gravity all its own...very strong.

Rf

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

2 posted 2004-09-22 11:07 AM

helplessly lingering
between what I’ve seen
and what I'm meant to believe.

The burdens far too wide
to trace with fingertips.
I hear its depths crying
for a sacrifice of pride,

and off the edge I’ll dive
into whatever lies
beyond the limitless needs
of forgotten things.

Oh Dawn, precious gal..
this speaks to me.
sometimes...I swear you write what I deeply
feel in my soul...
and sometimes all I can do is say...
THANK YOU

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2004-09-22 11:32 AM

Dear Dawn, this is deeply touching, poetically very beautiful and emotionally highly involving.

So nice to meet you here again.

Love and hugs.
Margherita

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

4 posted 2004-09-22 11:38 AM

Very powerful poem. I know what you mean about that gravitational pull. These lines were awesome.
The valley sings to me
~here is where I’ll be~
falling between realities
to capture your name
in the vapoured gravity

breathe your truth into me…

Great Job
Jon

"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur
"Sometimes it takes a painful loss to realize you are free"- Bouncing Souls

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

5 posted 2004-09-22 11:46 AM

Dawn~
Your poetry has it's own gravitational pull ... enjoyed this muchly~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email [email protected]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

6 posted 2004-09-22 02:15 PM

I should really be punished for not reading you earlier..actually..sounds like fun.

*insert soccerball smiley*

ok one of these too

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

7 posted 2004-09-22 05:07 PM

This is quality

Dave

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

8 posted 2004-09-22 05:08 PM

This reads so very easy.

And there is depth under the smooth surface

MovesInSilence
Member

since 2004-03-21

Posts 111
Perth, Australia

9 posted 2004-09-24 07:12 AM

I will wait for you and catch you when you fall

i loved this one

generated some interesting imagery

It's not the blindfold that blinds you,
it's the person that puts it there.

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

10 posted 2004-09-24 07:27 AM

The valley sings to me
~here is where I’ll be~
falling between realities
to capture your name
in the vapoured gravity

breathe your truth into me…

inspirationally deep feelings
Pleasant read with warm
treasures of concise movements of grace
wonderfully done!

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

11 posted 2004-09-24 09:55 AM

Sometimes diving over the edge is the easiest thing to do. And sometimes the hardest. You have written a complex and compelling poem here.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

12 posted 2004-09-24 09:56 AM

Had to come back to give you another

Thinking of you, and waiting to see more words and smiles!

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

13 posted 2004-09-24 04:50 PM

Sigh, this is gorgeous Dawn....Wow!

it's a

you

Mxx

Well I see you doing, What I try to do for me, With the words from a poet, And a voice from a choir, And a melody, nothing else matters. ~Stevie Nicks

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

14 posted 2004-09-24 06:57 PM

Dawn, you have written my thoughts and feelings of late...

this I love

M

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

15 posted 2004-09-24 07:46 PM

I could not pick one favorite verse...this is an extraordinary write.
TD

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

16 posted 2004-09-24 10:47 PM

wow!!

~~*~~
Read between the lines
look deep into each word
and you will understand the
depth of my soul (GE)
~~**~~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

17 posted 2004-09-25 01:02 PM

that last line...whew

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