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Open Poetry #33
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The Fine and Dine...
| Open Poetry #33 |
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The Fine and Dine... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA 
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I saw her standing tall and blonde around the counter’s bend. Hair of long golden frond that married with the wind. She worked the shift in Shantytown where all the tough guys came. A short black skirt that did surround the object of their game. She walked our way tauntingly her hips that slid and slipped. I watched her play seductively as I took cautious sips. With eyes that froze a man in place as hearts did skip in rhyme. Her cheekbones rose upon a face that carried her through time. Her curves that caught a longing gaze and marched them through the door. A sign of such seductive grace that made a man cry more! The place would pack as eggs were fried until the yokes did seize. And there they sat as grown men cried, in worship on their knees Those waffles cooked so golden brown with butter added well. A man would sit and gorge them down as eyes would tear and swell. Her coffee was the hottest cup a man could stand to sip. For she could wake the whole town up as she wetted her lip. Sweet Mary Jane of breakfast fame made old men sit and sob. She knew them all by their first name, it was this woman’s job. And when the place was locked and dark upon the time of close. The town could hear a lone dog’s bark, her scent within his nose. And till the sun did rise once more as squeegies did their trowel. You just knew those men ached for what made their senses growl. For she was finer than the wine that graced a rich mans swill. This lady of the late time dine, with looks that made them kill. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sounds like more of a happenin' place than my little corner Waffle House excellent write and... damn, I love that new pic! makes me wanna come visit the beautiful hills of SC |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
wow. Magnus, my friend. That is a BIG WOW. I wonder, are you making the sequel to this poem? I want to hear more. How and why did the men kill each other? Was Mary Jane a lady of the night? |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wow! Love this one Barry... Great stories you tell... These tales go well with your new pic.  Hugs~ ~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~ |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
*applause* Could picture this so clearly in my minds eye! I mean I can almost smell the coffee and see the men drooling. Enjoyed this very much~ |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
thanx Dix. and glad you enjoy the new pic of me that makes me a skyscraper... Eagle, nope, just a fine lookin' filly serving hash and eggs... and the killing part is just a figure of speech...sequel, hmmmmm? We shall see...perhaps... Nancy....you and your 27 guhzillion posts, thanx...knowing that I am part of them is a nice thought.... Lori, glad you came to dine...yeah, that coffee does smell super....that wasn't you in that black skirt, was it? Grin... |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Barry - Thanks for the journey, I enjoyed the visit to the waffle house. I can see those men woofin' their waffles and wishing to taste her glance. You do write a story well. SusanHappiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Barry, I guess I'm that old I still notice all that you said. LOL |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Susan....sheesh, where are the rolaids? Yeah, wolfin' em down, fast as we can, such a fine filly, not just for any man! Thank You! Sy, that malady starts long before being old....Me thinks you have been aflicted for nigh on a half century or so??? I have! |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Hmmmmm- after Sy's comment I had to re-read with a different frame of mind than my every day frame of mine. Ah-hem - um, yeah, okeedokee - don't know if it's the right interpretation, but it sizzles like bacon with hot peppers fried on the side. SusanHappiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Me thinks dear Maid of the West...in care of tools...that you have not missed a heartbeat of what was written or said...I think all Sir Sy of Sighs is saying is that he must be of that age, cause he fits! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I loved this strip of exquisite bacon... lean and thin and fried just right... On critique: only a "couple" of skips on meter [I can read others, just not my own...] and if you strategically placed a comma or two, the intent of each passage would become clearer. Overall, however...a real slice of life! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
cool write |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Gosh Magnus... This is really so entertaining!! For awhile, I couldn't tell if the grown men were crying cuz of the oh-so-delicious waffles or for the pretty sexy lady...  _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Great write! Eric |
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time prophet Member
since 2003-07-30
Posts 371In New Zealand Amongst the Ancient Trees |
Map Book and directions please. |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Well done Barry. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this tale. believe in what your heart feels... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I pop into your posts to not only to read the fruits of your illustrious pen, but to look at your pic! lol  You are a raconteur especial! Hugs 'n smiles, EA |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Enjoying both, the poem and your new smiling pic~~ *s M |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
I do like this one, a particularly good "people poem" individuals should be written of more often...... Your ability to articulate the scene of the diner is superb, capturing the emotions of the men in the crowd...This women knew how to work that crowd well, I bet she got big tips.... enjoyed ---------ice/ford ><> Come read to me some poem, |
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