Open Poetry #33 |
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Paperthin |
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muted![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving ![]() |
Paperthin (A than-bauk) ````````````` Feel paperthin broken skin worn within, without. |
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© Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
*smile* beautiful form and keeping the message intact . . . 4-3-2 . . . climbing vines . . . Beautiful, Dawn. |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I never heard of this one before, so I had to look it up so I'd know what I was seeing. Perfect. I love this just as a poem, and to see that it fits such a hard form makes it even better. Two thumbs up, girl! Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Greeneyes![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
exceptional Dawn.... ![]() I don’t want the world to see me |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
yes. Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Perfect Dawn! ![]() ~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~ |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Don't know much about poetry...But do know what I like Perfect thoughts for such a thin form. Ed.. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I had to look this form up as well, and I can see that you have mastered it. Beautiful you are. Mxx The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
oh yeah |
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Marge Tindal![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Dawn~ Just lovely ... lovely~ *Huglets* ![]() ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah, now this is emotive... so few words, so well done! |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Clearly, art with a tidal wave of emotion. Exceptional write. TD |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Dawn, Your words always leave in in reflection. It's good to read your poetry again. I don't see nearly enough! cathy (miscellanea) |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Paperthin is such a delicate state of mind, and even harder to hold together. Very powerful expression in so few words. Nicely done good poetess~ |
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~K~ Member
since 2004-07-27
Posts 148 |
(A than-bauk) Oh God, Please don't make me look it up. Just tell me now what it is! PLEASE!? If you tell me I will write one just for you. |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
I thought that haiku was a compacted form, But this one is atomic...love it.... ![]() Its magic is (the content of the poems magic) that it made me say "ouch" for some reason.....brings a scene of a skinless person with just blood as the husk of the body.. enjoyed ---------ice ><> Come read to me some poem, |
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muted![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
http://members.optushome.com.au/kazoom/poetry/thanbauk.html this url shows gives very easy to follow instructions on this form. so ~K~, i hope to see your very very soon!!! and to all of you , thanks soooo much for reading and commenting...it feels good to see you all ![]() and Ice...i like that "atomic" comment...awesome..that is what it is...'atomic" |
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