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Open Poetry #33

auto row in a minor

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2004-09-09 08:12 AM

M&Ms
with emblems
parked like candy

by a kid with too much time
and a tooth ache

car lots are sewers
the wrong end kind
where the waste is spilled

drawing gnats
and wanna be flies

and there is the scooper
with his lines
about treasure

and what god drives
when his wings are tired

he says I am in shape
as I snort a quick line
and fire up a phat fuente,

and that my wife is pretty
even though she is borrowed

from another scooper
down the road
that borrowed one too

from a lawyer
cause she was tired

of being down that low
and he got distracted
when she leaned to the side

while test drivin his eyes
___________

Dark

scribble note: nothing against car dealers or lawyers..just an observation from a jack sippin, stogie smokin, woman chasin scooter jockey with class...........of 65 on his letterman's jacket..
etc etc etc etc...

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-09-09 08:30 AM

LOL....sometimes your scribble notes
are as good as the poem itself...

Enjoyed the read of the eyes, Sir.

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

2 posted 2004-09-09 08:35 AM

"he says I am in shape
as I snort a quick line
and fire up a phat fuente"

heh heh
my mind loves to test drive
your view

K

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2004-09-09 08:39 AM

Dark,
Amusing write enjoyed the read.

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

4 posted 2004-09-09 08:46 AM

your write with embedded passion, describing the hugeness in one moment, majestically and keenly moving...sweeping the reader away, into a visual all unto it's own...

Your a rare look which spellbounds...

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

5 posted 2004-09-09 09:09 AM

You see, you share, I see. I love to watch your visions.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

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