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soul drifter
Senior Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 711
Colorado

0 posted 2004-09-09 12:07 PM

daydreaming

wash away these tides
and emotional summer storms
i have been daydreaming
and nightswimming
throughout the long blue arc
of our candy love
i can only see your eyes
with this infared heart
your bones are shaking
and i'm making it up
and i'm making out
with the girl in my dreams
that chalk outline girl
with her poetry smeared
on the sidewalk in the rain
white blood cell floating
bouncing off me
splashing into you
it'll tell you what to do
when you're staring through
a chained door
and an aching heart
in the sink
and i'm daydreaming that
i'm in your nightmares
a key to truth
hanging from your kite
dragging on the ground
'cause you were eight
and i was bruised and torn
and i was used and worn
and i was questioning you
where were you on the night
that my whole life fell apart
my batteries are drained
and the bottles are all empty
rolling on the floor
sinking in the flood, i am
slinging the mud, i am
trying to get your attention
'cause i can't make it alone
i can't take this pride and
carry it home
carry me home
i'll be daydreaming
visions of you
moving in next week
i'll leave the key
under the doormat
with laundromat coupons
and confessions
of daydreams i have wasted
on someone else

"Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2004-09-09 12:21 PM

"wash away these tides
and emotional summer storms
i have been daydreaming
and nightswimming"

I can see I am going to enjoy reading you

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-09-09 01:07 PM

Interesting.

I read it. I wont say I liked it but I will say there is talent.

My own views but everyone has a view and the lines read but lacked a sparkle that makes you want to re-read.

It was more of a story without a story. More words than a plan of where you were going.

Others will feel different I feel.

regards

dave

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

3 posted 2004-09-09 04:03 PM

very good

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