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Open Poetry #33
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ShiningWindHaze
Member
since 2004-09-06
Posts 138
California, United States

0 posted 2004-09-08 06:16 PM



I was once Glistening Rain
and now shining wind haze
permeates the droplets of my brown eyes
watch the twist of white and blue
shapes my heart is a love potion
grips a part of my soul motioning
an ocean to my groaning voice like lotion
on the back of tanned flesh I kept in hands that crept like snakes that wed themselves to lust
grabs me tightly in the hands of teeth so sharply
gazing straight into this crazy realm of earth
inside I hurt but people make me laugh the aftermath is sadness then I'm mad with tears I laugh again wondering what I'm crying for

- Haze

© Copyright 2004 Byron Keith Landry Jr. - All Rights Reserved
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
1 posted 2004-09-08 07:24 PM


you have a unique voice and a way with imagery.  I find myself re-reading to try to capture all that your words carry.  

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2004-09-08 07:58 PM


ShiningWind,
Come back a year from now and read it again,
you will be surprised. Enjoyed

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

3 posted 2004-09-08 08:21 PM


I will freely admit that at some point after the first few versus I coasted.

Emotion ran rampant in the early words, I lost a bit after.

The vision I can follow, the later intensity of the words I found clouded the ealier direction.

regards

Dave

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-09-08 08:30 PM


I think you have a twin.
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2004-09-08 10:49 PM


"I was once Glistening Rain
and now shining wind haze
permeates the droplets of my brown eyes"

I soooo love this part

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