I could've gone forever (repost from kristabell's "this maze I call life)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

ShiningWindHaze
Member

since 2004-09-06

Posts 138
California, United States

0 posted 2004-09-07 08:29 PM

Looking for a reason for this maze,
For this haze,
For this place out of space out of time so we race
through this vine people smile feeding swine reading lines needing life without life living dead
under steady blood red raining deaf through the years into old passing tears in the age of breaking
bones and lungs hesitating to breathe and thoughts forever bouncing up and down round and round can't
stop feeling sound till ear drums fade away want to stay but we die ain't it great? how we cry under
skies dark tonight sunlight bright in the morning scorching golden hearts adoring one another pouring
love shining doves flying hug the deepest ocean depths are dark like voids of passionate pleading
death I wish would die so I wouldn't have to rhyme so i feel that time slows but it won't so I write
even now I can cry cause I know what you wrote was so real people kill people steal we pay bills
unfulfilled in life these skills kill strife I hope for a moment my type for my wife won't lie time
flys life so short and nigh is my destiny i'm broken imperfect open soul I crawl on love I fold
into me flaws and beauty.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

1 posted 2004-09-07 08:37 PM

A sad maze.... I felt like I was lost in a maze of words twisting and turning. Your meter and rhyme accomplished your goal well.

ShiningWindHaze
Member

since 2004-09-06

Posts 138
California, United States

2 posted 2004-09-07 08:43 PM

The funny thing is I didn't worry about a meter. I just let life flow. I didn't restrict myself to meters and rhyme, I just did it. How I felt at the time is what I wrote. So subconsciousily I was able to form a maze with my words without thinking too much about exactly what I was writing. I just focused on different points in life that personally affect me and others and wrote it. With a little inspiration from kritabell's "This maze I call life".

- Haze

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

3 posted 2004-09-07 08:52 PM

I fold
into me flaws and beauty.

This line, it speaks to me. Flaws and beauty. Is it not, at times, our flaws which make us beautiful? Or that love can surpass flaws and embrace them with tenderness, knowing that it is that which makes us human?

I enjoyed the entire piece. A lot of good thought going on here- in a nice flowing river of words.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

ShiningWindHaze
Member

since 2004-09-06

Posts 138
California, United States

4 posted 2004-09-07 09:59 PM

I feel that we have a conncetion that doesn't require too many words Susan. You have been bringing smiles to my face ever since I read that first poem. To be honest, I knew that part would speak to you. I was thinking of you when I wrote it.

- Haze

Rosebud1229
Senior Member

since 2000-04-05

Posts 1813
North Carolina

5 posted 2004-09-07 10:08 PM

ah, the beauty of the maze, though sometimes we are completely caught up in the words, they come from deep within the heart, which makes poems come alive.
Enjoyed though sad it brought life into essence.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

6 posted 2004-09-07 10:14 PM

Amazing write..
wonderfully inspired piece.
Hugs~

~ Summer can't be over...
I still have the sand in my shoes. ~

ShiningWindHaze
Member

since 2004-09-06

Posts 138
California, United States

7 posted 2004-09-08 01:45 AM

Thank you all. I am truly inspired.
- Haze

p.s. Hugs to you Enchantress.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.