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Open Poetry #33
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2004-09-07 10:04 AM



conversationally impaired

She ran into an idea, running wild
and free, but confused by its meanderings,
deemed it a lost and bedraggled thought,
begging to be cared for.

She found a box for the idea to lie in,
rummaged around, found some adjectives to feed it,
and so it wouldn’t cry and keep her awake at night,
threw in a verb or two for it to chew on.

She sat down with a cup of coffee,
and started to question where this thought
might have come from and if
there might be any others like it.
She even worried over the possibility that
just after she would start to cherish it,  
the previous owner would show up and reclaim it.

But come nighttime and no one arrived
in search of her newly found notion, which
at this moment was trying to climb in bed with her,
the decision was apparent, if this idea
were to become hers,
it must be made presentable.

Once bathed, fluffed, arranged, and prettily
adorned with pronouns and perfume
she found that her idea was much
too adorable for wording.

By this time she stopped worrying about its
family relations, gave it a name,
and commenced to taking it with her
everywhere she went.  

But this idea did not flourish constrained; in fact
her thought was looking rather sickly.  
She tried to perk it up with adverbs and
conjunctions, but even under constant construction,
her idea was fading quickly.

Distressed by the condition of her concept,
she knew she must return it to where she found it
and sadly watched as her idea disappeared out of view.
She walked away arm in arm with the conclusion
that some things are better
left unsaid.

© Copyright 2004 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

1 posted 2004-09-07 10:05 AM


Dang, but I'm glad you didn't leave this
for the dust bunnies...

because now I've got it locked
in my library!

Edgy? Yes...but still standing...

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

2 posted 2004-09-07 10:08 AM


lol, thank you and would you believe this is one of the few I have written that didn't insist on being posted...just finally decided to post it to have something under my name besides sadness.......sigh
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2004-09-08 01:30 PM


She sat down with a cup of coffee,
and started to question where this thought
might have come from and if
there might be any others like it.
She even worried over the possibility that
just after she would start to cherish it,  
the previous owner would show up and reclaim it.

I especially love this verse... perhaps in part because I've done just that. *S*

The progression of this is fantastic... you give us smiles and leave us with such truth. *S* Well done! *S*

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2004-09-08 01:57 PM


well as poetry goes, this ain't much, but it insisted on being written lol
thank you lady

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
5 posted 2004-09-11 12:09 PM


This is beyond fun - entertaining - creative and all sorts of yummy stuff.  I enjoyed reading this very much.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-09-11 05:34 AM


what an ending! you're good at those!
Daniel Storm
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 91
New York
7 posted 2004-09-11 03:16 PM


Great metaphor.  Makes realize why I eat when i wrote
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
8 posted 2004-09-11 03:21 PM


I love the creativity in this! Well done!  I have a few boxes around, too.  Still feeding them...  To the library-Full speed ahead!
          miscellanea

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
9 posted 2004-09-11 03:34 PM


With your legs honey...you don't need to say a word!!!!!!!!!! well done sweetie
Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2004-09-11 07:04 PM


I really enjoyed reading this, and it has a familiar ring to it. Also, it didn't short circuit my brain with superfluous thoughts on a day already gagging me from undigestable memories.
LOL, I thank you, for this.

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

11 posted 2004-09-13 03:17 PM


thank you all......*smile* am glad to bring smiles.....and lol@ps and endings...this one just wanted to wander and wander, and the ending was what kept it from being finished....glad you liked
EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

12 posted 2004-09-25 07:43 AM


Hi jellybeans. I know it has been a while since you posted this wonderful piece. But I closed my eyes and clicked at random to see where fate would take me and it brought me to thses words. LOVE THIS! Yes it is true some things are better left unsaid. That is really the trick...is it not? We must edit for our own ears each word we would speak. The gift of far sight must ever be ours so that our words do not come back to haunt us. I love this poem dear friend. Bravo...and it is getting bounced back to page one because it deserves another go-round.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
13 posted 2004-09-25 10:18 AM


JellyGal~
And I am sitting here thankful for the wandering~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2004-09-25 09:28 PM


jellybeans

I guess some things you just can't tame...I really enjoyed this!  

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
15 posted 2004-09-25 11:38 PM


quote:
She sat down with a cup of coffee,
and started to question where this thought
might have come from and if
there might be any others like it.
She even worried over the possibility that
just after she would start to cherish it,  
the previous owner would show up and reclaim it.


Yes.





jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

16 posted 2004-09-29 02:21 PM


thank you all, this one was the end of a drought of words, and it seemed to want to drink them all...glad it made some sense and some smiles...seems I am thirsty again and lacking words...sigh
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