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Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2004-09-06 12:22 PM

Dimly lit, the lantern sways to the tune
of heart.The tunnel’s end unmarked
and nameless, as is the smooth cold stone
that waits atop a knoll.

A moment of suspended time when the beat
momentarily skips.Such a sound, this faint
but ever ominous knock upon the door of
souls.A place where shadows mix and meld
into a menage of silence.

Where laughter hovers stilled lips and hands
clasp the rein of reaping shocks, filling the
air with that which swayed the field before
life fell into broken sod.

Still the lantern gently sways the moonless
night....the dancing flame taunting and
tempting the flesh to touch and feel the
heat before fingers snuff the flame and
smoke lazily curls skyward as souls
clasp the tendrils and dance their
lives away.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2004-09-06 12:55 PM

vivid imagery here Barry

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

2 posted 2004-09-06 01:38 AM

Great write, BJ! Yes, that sounds outside the tunnel, alright.

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

3 posted 2004-09-06 06:15 AM

Barry - you sent me on quite a journey.  I was looking to express my thoughts on this piece and ended up reading about Azra'el, whom some say was the angel of death (he wasn't) but still it was said "what he writes down are the names of those who are born, what he erases are the names of those who have died."

When I read this piece, I saw the image of a being snuffing the lanterns at ends passage and was looking for some name to give this being- ha, so that's how I got to Azra'el.  Thanks for the journey, it was interesting.

Enjoyed this a great deal.  I do hope we all sway a while longer -

Susan

btw- like the new photo

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2004-09-06 09:43 AM

Barry? Izzat you in the pic?

Love it!!!!
Oh....and this piece?
Of course it's yet another winner!
~Hugs and Smiles~

~ Summer can't be over...
I still have the sand in my shoes. ~

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

5 posted 2004-09-06 01:12 PM

Susan,  you did your homework well.  For you
are very close to being in the ten ring of
the target....Only difference was that perhaps
I am my own merchant...  Guess this was one
of my melancholy days....but not overly so..
Just enough to mince together a few words
that would puzzle the reader a little bit.

Or...it does seem that perhaps I have...

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