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Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2004-08-30 08:07 PM

Abandoned by years of silence,
a week’s stubble itching a weathered face.
Lost in yesterday’s memory,   struggling
to take a step forward before falling
backwards into a quagmire of forget.

He walked the gutter’s edge softly,
downcast eyes hoping to spy the last
dime that he had.  Silent tongue
rubbing toothless gums, shaking hands
grasping for a borrowed smoke.

He was once a man, standing dapper
and tall.  His heart beat gallantly until
that spring day when rains mixed with
life’s tears and stifled sobs were heard
by no one.  Standing silent beneath
an oak’s umbrella as gentle drops fell
upon a wrinkled and weathered neck.

He wore no watch, though he always
knew the time.   His last pair of underwear
long since forgotten in the back of some
alleyway where empty wine bottles clinked
lazily toward a fly infested dumpster.

Home was a door where a weathered paper
spoke of condemnation...  A place where
paint faded into rotted wood and rats ran
the attic as a single dead bulb swung lazily
in the chilling breeze.

An old man, not nearly as old as his features
painted him.  The glow of his eyes steadily
dimming as months passed.  Time was nigh
the reaper’s harvest, and his only wish slowly
disappeared with the sun’s last glimpse...

They found him, cold as the ground he lay on,
clasping a note scribbled on cardboard....
Asking only that someone might know him,
and let him be their grandfather, if but for
just one day...the day that Potter's Field
took him home.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

1 posted 2004-08-30 08:11 PM

Darn, I should have posted a Hankie Alert
for myself...sheesh...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2004-08-30 08:35 PM

Magnus
No matter what the topic you write well.
Enjoyed the read.

Margot
Member

since 2003-10-04

Posts 154

3 posted 2004-08-31 01:13 AM

Excellent

Margot

Love is something eternal, The aspect may change, But not the essence.- Vincent Van Gogh

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-08-31 01:47 AM

yu always know how to touch the heart

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

5 posted 2004-08-31 08:43 AM

Such a vivid, touching picture you've painted of this day... you opened all our hearts wider with this one, my friend.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2004-08-31 08:46 AM

I want to see some expounded
lines in Prose, sir...
'cause you can DO it!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

7 posted 2004-08-31 09:40 AM

"Potter's Field" as meaning a public burial place for poor and unknown persons is a passage from the Gospel of St. Matthew (27:3-8):
sighing~~

a very touching write Barry

M

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

8 posted 2004-08-31 10:14 AM

sigh...
beautiful. just beautiful.

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

9 posted 2004-08-31 10:43 AM

That's right, Sir - this one should've had a double hankey alert - tear my heart out and throw it on the floor!

You painted this so very well, with such pigmented sorrow -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

10 posted 2004-08-31 10:59 AM

Thank you Maureen up there, I was going to ask what Potter's Field was and Barry?

Lost in yesterday’s memory, struggling
to take a step forward before falling
backwards into a quagmire of forget.

My God, I feel this way quite often . . .
I guess we can all relate a bit here . . .

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

11 posted 2004-08-31 02:00 PM

This is so poignant, Magnus, it rains with it.

Corinne

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

12 posted 2004-08-31 07:14 PM

I had to come back to revisit this....
and tell you again how much I enjoyed it.

Oh, email sent too.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

13 posted 2004-08-31 07:21 PM

I feel that if I could paint this scene,
he might breathe again, 'till someone comes for him, before his last moment.

Copperbell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-08

Posts 956

14 posted 2004-08-31 09:06 PM

powerful

you gave someone we so often ignore and shy away from dignity...that we could do that more on the streets where we live

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

15 posted 2004-09-01 08:26 PM

Hi Barry. FANTASTIC! Oh my you have raised the bar with this one sir. I can feel this so close to my heart. Reminds me of the days of old when I use to wander the streets of Toronto, Ontario. I seen so many people that could have fit this description. Such sadness excisting in a big city all too often goes unnoticed. Glad you painted their story for all my friend.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

E S West
Member

since 2004-08-31

Posts 116
California

16 posted 2004-09-02 06:45 PM

seems that I have seen this person..
maybe in a mirror.....

Great write......

E S West

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

17 posted 2004-09-02 09:48 PM

Very real imagery, BJ. Now....where's my tissue?..... good write........jo

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