The luggage can go in the shed.

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #33

The luggage can go in the shed.

~K~
Member

since 2004-07-27

Posts 148

0 posted 2004-08-29 05:31 AM

I was there
a cascade failure
suffering
delirious

I am here
a happy pause
a silent voice
invisible

I was then
a walking bomb
a fractured core
impossible

I am now
a traveler
by stretching
the imagination

Kristabell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-29

Posts 678
Portland, OR

1 posted 2004-08-29 05:53 AM

Very interesting. Great job!!!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-08-29 06:29 AM

my my my...

there's a lot going on here...I love the construct, and the four stanzas of course brought to mind four seasons and natural transition, lending value to your theme with the balances of meter and the power of your word choices (most notably the first stanza, but not exclusive).

This is very, very nice. Much enjoyed.

(can ya tell?

)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2004-08-29 06:32 AM

and a perfect title too.

*keeping this*

thanks!

~K~
Member

since 2004-07-27

Posts 148

4 posted 2004-08-29 06:56 AM

Thank you both So much! (And how did you know I was wondering about the title!?

I'm so glad you liked it.

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

5 posted 2004-08-29 07:06 AM

serenity is on to something there

LOL

enjoyed this! we are all travellers here...the world is so accessible through language, text, photographs....so wonderful to communicate across the expanse.

so wonderful to have "some" place to hide and explore all at the same time.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2004-08-29 09:01 AM

I like serenity's interpretation...

I like the poem, period.

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

7 posted 2004-08-29 09:20 AM

Enjoyed this --

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2004-08-29 03:02 PM

that's awesome!

msflame
Member

since 2002-05-21

Posts 188

9 posted 2004-08-29 03:29 PM

Yes, yes, be a travelin' woman, I have a poem about that. I love your piece. Strong.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

10 posted 2004-08-29 03:53 PM

"stretching
the imagination"

yes, yes, yes
nice exercise

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.