Open Poetry #33 |
The Poet - A Bird's Eye View |
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
On a night both dark and dreary, I sat outside your window, weary saw you reading in the lamplight a volume of forgotten lore but because my wings were clapping and I know that you were napping I fluttered and my wings were flapping, tapping at the glass before " 'tis some visitor" you muttered "tapping at my chamber door" just a tap and nothing more in the dark I heard you mutter, with the slightest trace of stutter though my thoughts were on the butter I could smell beyond your door your face bore frowns I saw your sorrow, I forgot I came to borrow something that would ease my morrow, butter for my nesting four I have young ones that are nesting, flightless are my nesting four open beaks they have and more you looked up, though my tap was fleeting for my heart was swiftly beating you spoke but it was not in greeting, more to tell me what's in store " 'tis some visitor entreating", you said it once and then repeating said it more though time was fleeting, while I waited here by law I cannot enter through your door then you grew bold your speech was stronger, I'd delayed, could wait no longer my young ones waiting, now were crying I could hear their caws and more so to the night I flew in yearning, while you spent your mind in turning what you thought in wond'ring, learning who was waiting at your door before I waited gently tapping, tapping at your chamber door now I had gone there's nothing more. to the dark I saw you peering, eyes near shut and wond'ring fearing, but I had chicks that needed tending and they needed me much more when I'd given them attention and relieved my growing tension I'd return but did I mention, I'd be knocking on your door a whispered word, the silence broken echoed back oh sweet Lenore nothing more just sweet Lenore when my babies I had tended and their cries were nearly ended I returned, on wings I wended, back, still back up to your door at your window with its trapping I began a louder rapping with my beak and with my flapping I rapped hard upon your door give me butter for my tapping, loud I cried in raucous caw butter for my winter's store then you opened up the shutter, set my wings in all aflutter and I heard you moan and mutter "a raven from the days of yore" I flew right in not condescending, for your spirit was ascending the subtle warmth left me intending to sit a moment on your floor heat lifted me, with mien of lady, I fluttered up above your door and sat on Pallas, nothing more t'was then I felt your melancholy but remember I came solely into your domain unholy, for your butter nothing more then my wings in mantled flutter, called my wish in stammer stutter and I thought I heard you utter, "are you night’s plutonium shore?" cawing loudly, 'give me butter, lest I come here nevermore' all that came was ‘nevermore’ I sat on Pallas crying plainly and you screwed your head ungainly then I went silent at your question, not relevant to me I swore I cannot in faith agreeing, say all you saw I too was seeing but why aren't you your butter freeing, as a gift to build my store I spoke this uttering at your wishing yet all you heard was raucous caw from the raven just a caw from this Pallas sad and lonely, I spake again but you had only heard the sound both low and comely, sounds that you had heard before I sat quite still and nothing uttered, for my hope of butter fluttered as you ranted and you muttered "one word only his outpour on the morrow he will leave me as my hopes have flown before" then I cried out 'nevermore.' my reply so aptly spoken, gave you pause your thoughts were broken I expected now a token of your praise, gathered adore to the pantry you must stumble with no groan and no dark mumble else your faith I'll turn and tumble ere I'm winging out your door I turn my head to see you fumble as I awaken songs of yore to bring your butter to my claw so I sat here still beguiling, into all your sadness smiling waiting watching, beak on tiling as you pondered meaning's core then you sat on velvet sinking with your hands clasped merely thinking while you see in my soul, drinking all the words now gone before pondering all and never blinking while you're musing nevermore and held my will inside this door silently engaged in guessing, but my need was somewhat pressing I turned with eye both dark and glassine "give me butter for my store" still you sat before me minding, all the thoughts you had been finding while my thoughts were homeward winding, while you sat and gloated o'er asking me from your reclining "what this means, this nevermore nothing more than nevermore." then the very air grew denser and you cursed me, your dispenser of all wisdom, your condenser of your musings scattered core in the lamplight you were raving while my heart was sore and craving and once more I thought of braving all your ire to get my store nothing in your endless raving gave me buttered bread or more nothing for my beak and claw 'prophet' said you "thing of evil, portent of both god and devil, whether sent by force medieval, sent by tempest to this shore tell this soul with sorrow laden, shall I clasp a radiant maiden? tell me truly" you implored me "is there balm on Gilead's shore. Will it hold a sainted maiden known to me as my Lenore?" then I answered Nevermore no wisdom sent to end your calling and I think that you are stalling give me not your caterwauling give me butter from your store I am nothing but a raven, I can't give you what you're craving you look at me and start your raving, I want butter nothing more words can't fill my babies craving. What do I know of Lenore? Nothing, nothing evermore Then you shrieked "let this be parting" rising up with hands a darting "ending all" you said in starting "is better than has gone before get thee hence into the morrow leave me with my time of sorrow you can neither beg nor borrow all the pain life has in store so take your wings to find the morrow, take your presence from my door" still no butter for my four Still I sit in waiting, waiting, still I stay, anticipating that you will cease this mindless prating and give butter from your store can't you see this play is ending and I seek the night in wending this is it, no more pretending you don't know that this is lore raise yourself in heartfelt mending, get yourself from off the floor or be lifted nevermore. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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© Copyright 2004 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Good gads girlfriend, this is one heck of a bird's eye view...of a Poet. This is marvelous and held me from the get-go! Poe would be SO very proud of your efforts! Me, I'm just astounded...that you found the TIME for this masterpiece! I love it and it's libraried and you are something else!!! Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen? Keeping in mind, I must stand close... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Lynne, dear one...you have carved from the earth the most excellent POEm... You must know this certainly pulls me in...being HE is by far one of my favorite poets... And from the torrid tapping on the window yon was rapping a bird that killed my napping, all of this and nothing more.... For from this voice of feather came a caw out of the weather and sit upon my mantle, now stiff as not before... LOVE IT!!!! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
DANG! This one is a keeper keeper keeper! What a masterpiece, a Poe-etic style beauty. I cannot imagine the time and intense concentration this must have taken you. It left me in awe, and with a giant smile. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kethry~ I sit here reading this for the fourth time, totally in awe of your talent dear lady~ It's a keeper for me~ Thank you~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Fabulous write, Kethry! ....jo |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I don't even NEED to tell you how I feel about this one.....but I will anyway. I LOVE IT!!! Not only is it a wonderful perspective to write from, you did it so perfectly. It's one of those "Why didn't I think of that??" poems. Absolutely fantastic, Keth....I can't say enough. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Deer, I had begun because of another poet but I posted because of you. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I had to come back to visit this again, it is so far beyond anything I'll ever attempt. I am in awe of your talent, Kethry m'friend. |
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barbaraj Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139Nova Scotia, Canada |
excellent poem, kethry...one that i shall return to often I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Kethry You have left me speachless and I truly bow to your talent. excellent |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Absolutely brilliant write! A real beauty! JL She said: ”You look cute in the dark.” |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
sheeeshhh, you must be a relative of Poe's Yes? Just kidding...I am amazed at this, truely amazed....very well done and thought out, and the rhyme is perfect. Enjoyed! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
This was absolutely incredible. I can see it illustrated Kethry, and being a book that many would be treasure forever. I printed it out and will read it over and over again. For this offering, I thank you, it is truly the work of an outstanding poet. |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
This is fantastic! You kept true to the original, and to the viewpoint you chose, and made me laugh too. This is a tour de force. I have never done anything like this, or thought it was possible. Awesome! Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Keth, again I will say this is an awesome take off from Poe....and it merits being here among the best...You have done very well...and...I enjoyed the playful joust with you, was fun... [This message has been edited by Magnus (08-24-2004 09:15 PM).] |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Kethry dear...you couldn't have done a better job.....wonderful... |
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msflame Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188 |
Enjoyed and admire your work. Birds had been on mind of late. Thanks for a great read. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Yowsers, woman!!!! I'd be bowing and scraping in humble appreciation regardless... since a certain mushy mutual acquaintance told me how long you worked on this *cough* I'm doubly floored!! *S* Fantastic work! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
An excellent composition of poetry that definitely needs another read by those that may have missed it. I had to find you |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Kethry, Kept me to the end... If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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