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Open Poetry #33
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Structural Integrity
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Structural Integrity |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida 
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Simplicity is something neither earned nor gained through the notion of unraveling these the thoughts that plague me. Purging myself of doubts, throwing them out in hopes of understanding their existence. I don’t relish your hypothetical. Their real design a packing of sorts. The sun doesn’t always rise, flowers don’t always bloom, but I was willing to always be here. And yet you don’t want my hand, to guide us through the dark. Nor do you offer your own. “Smile” you said, and when I asked you why, you replied that it means I am happy. Your need for me to always smile belies the confidence you’ve talked yourself into. As you have denied that night is the yin to the yang of day, and neither could breathe without the respite offered by the other. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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| © Copyright 2004 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
well, I don't know who you wrote this for but you give me plenty of reasons to smile.... As you have denied that night is the yin to the yang of day, and neither could breathe without the respite offered by the other. This truly spoke to me...thank you for sharing! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
The sun doesn’t always rise, flowers don’t always bloom, but I was willing to always be here. And yet you don’t want my hand, to guide us through the dark. Nor do you offer your own. Now gal, this is something I relate to soooo very well. I love your writing, and introspections.... you have a beautiful mind and heart! |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
i feel the sadness in this and holding up facades will soon break you this has a bittersweet tone i enjoyed very much  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I hate it when people tell me to smile like they don't think I have problems and bad days |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Susan, Smile you might be on candid camera. Good write. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nicely done ma'am... |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
This is about as honest and straightforward as one can get. My daughter scowls when I ask her to smile (but she is a teenager, so it's the primary modus operendi by nature, some days). |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
I believe Yin you. *grin* Because some of the nerves in my face were damaged, I often think I am smiling but the smile is not always visible by others. So, I have come to think that the smile I wear inside is most important to me. (Of course, when I am cranky it often appears the same way.) |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
"The sun doesn’t always rise, flowers don’t always bloom, but I was willing to always be here. And yet you don’t want my hand, to guide us through the dark. Nor do you offer your own. “Smile” you said, and when I asked you why, you replied that it means I am happy." but who says i need to pretend to be happy when i am not understanding this more than you know |
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Edder Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671 |
You always find a way to touch me with your writing... now get outta my head!  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
a big YES! Lady, I don't know what is going on with you, but your muse is kicking butt of late. I love the introspective qualities of your latest offerings, you've been runnin' nekked through the blue pages, and ain't it grand?   |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Susan, sometimes smiles just don't mean a lot, particularly when forced to exist. I wish you all you desire and all that might allow you to smile your own natural smile. |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
**sigh** Painfully beautiful...I tell my husband all the time that the reason I love him is that his smile reaches his eyes...If you can't see the smile in the eyes it isn't felt in the heart...**hugs** |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
You know I love your musings, Susan. This one I very much enjoyed. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you all, your responses mean so very much more than you could ever realize. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Must say Myrtle, you have been doing some excellent writing, as of late. Must be all that inspiration I supply ya... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
LMAO Dunc... you are the most conceited, arrogant, bombastic person I have ever known....(I know that is redundant, but I like big words... )and I still love ya. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
It's a gift...  Oh and you forgot "charming". |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
ROTFLMAO Dunc? bombastic? LOL, he can be such a naughty puppy. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
charming????? LMAO uh..dunc... unless you've taken up handling snakes of late and piping them out fo a basket while wearing a towel on your head..you have little hope of being charming.. lmao |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Hey bud, I figured if you can be humble, I can be charming...  |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
*snort* lmao... I am speechless. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Speechless??? What, did somebody muzzle ya Myrtle???  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
LOL well Dunc.. there is a difference you know.. I am humble... and charming for you would require a bracelet with dangly things... lmao |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Keep it up Ron, this stuff works great for makin' stink bait!!!  |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I am laughing so hard now I'm 'bout ready to spit my coffee |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Oh..I can see how it would... using the scraps of your rejected writes.. such offering as this would add substance and it would stay on the hook better.. :0 |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Exactly!! And when I'm in need of a bobber, I just pinch off a word or two of yours and by design...it floats!!! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling).. you are confused Dunc... tigerboy poetry floats.. shall I ask JM to post some for you to read? fluff.. falls apart... which of course is why the rejected scraps of your writing won't stay on the hook... |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I like to save the Tigerboyeeee poetry for bottom fishin', ya know, catfish love that crap... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
*goes to the corner* "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling) and you are going to the corner why??? Dunc is harmless unnless shredding some rejects of his, then the stuff that gets in the air is regulated by the EPA and you have to be careful... |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
This is so sad, and I know the truth in this. Very strong emotions and yet kept in check, and hidden. Had me holding my breath as I read. JL |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
sorry i'm late replying to this, was just shaving my legs.. great write..ah those stupid humans |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Susan To me, this is the key stanza, that opens the mystery lock of this poem... "“Smile” you said, and when I asked you why, you replied that it means I am happy." Men's egos sometimes will not allow failures to surface, we ignore or mask them so we don't feel or look weak... After a while we start to believe they don't exist and the partner in our lives pays psychologically for that mistake.... Good poetry...enjoyed ----------ice ><> Come read to me some poem, |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
but I was willing to always be here. ~*~ You write from the heart, not only with integrity and structure, but with passion. Well done, Susan! |
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