Open Poetry #33 |
Moon Loved Sun |
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Just one more story of another love gone bad. A legend when told, that's really quite sad. An old, old story of the moon and sun, Another would be love that came undone. This old Indian legend I was told Of moon and sun oh so very long ago. Sun’s aura bright touched the heart of moon, They fell in love on the 9th of June. Moon loved sun, her essence, her soul, The fact she could remain so bright and whole. He showed her off to the stars in pride, Promising heaven to make her his bride. He said, "Go wait now, in your bright daylight, While I shine down on the cool of night." Sun refused to do what he told her that day, She simply turned her head, and drifted away. How did he take her for such a fool? No moon would ever this sun rule! So in her anger she did not abide, No longer was she moon’s chosen bride. Moon cried for Sun deep into the night, Shedding so many tears for his love of light. His tears collected on land, became the sea, A testament of his love, and his love's plea. Moon so full of grief, spilt himself in two, Then in quarters, as crazy men will do. This is why in the dead of night, The moon is never quite all in sight. He searched for her in pieces they say, Prayed to find her, and her mind sway. Always things can be worked out, Isn’t that what love's all about? Sun gave in and left her light of day, Trying to dry all his tears away. She searched for him in the sky above, Wanting to return and be his only love. Sun thought herself independent and strong, But she often wonders where she went wrong. Sun spends her days by herself you see, So far apart now are the moon and she. That’s why to this very day high above, Sun and moon still search for love. Telling someone,not asking, is just not right, Because we’re all as different as day and night. This is not a legend at all, just my mind wandering today in the heat, and the fact that I hate being told what I should or should not do I hope you may enjoy it even it its dah dums are different Imagination is more important than knowledge... Albert Einstein |
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© Copyright 2004 Mysteria 1997 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sharon........If it's not a legend, then it should be...and maybe it will be. I loved it!! I hope you are feeling better? |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Martie I think if I were going to have a fan club of 1, I would definitely be honered with it being you. Thank you for dropping in to read my drivel. |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
Hey Sharon ...reading this I have to agree , we all do think and feel differently but I am much like you and hate being told what to do Hope |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
so sweet, romantic, heartbreaking...yeah yeah...all that stuff that makes a girl's head spin LOL lovely little pretend here. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Boy it sure sounds like a legend!! Well done..glad you could get some inspiration from the heat wave.... |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Sharon, I adored this creative and imaginative story poem! Brava! I am so glad that occasionally we do have eclipses. lol ....jo |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Sharon, I loved this!! And, Lady, I'm just like you...... I hate to be TOLD what to do or what I should do!! Makes me mighty sassy when somebody does that!! LOL Hugs, Ethel |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Hey there Sharon... I LIKE your duh dums, just the way they are. This is awesome and I have to link it to a friend of mine who is just gonna go nuts over it! Lovely lovely...just lovely! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well, my friend, if it isn't a legend, it ought to be! I sincerely enjoyed it, and you are ever so right...suggestions are one thing, but telling others what to do doesn't always work out, especially in relationships. You are a wise and wonderful friend and poet. |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Well, it should be a legend...This poem is absolutely wonderful....I read it three times and then read it to some of my grandchildren who are visiting...I love it and they did too... |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
very nice write |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Sharon ... I enjoyed this soooooooo much! What a well thought-out storyline. I agree with everyone above, that it "should" be a legend or in a storybook with illustrations. I could visualize pictures accompanying this all the way through. I very much enjoyed this! Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Love this Sharon! Dum dah dum dum!! hugs, Chris "At one glance |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
In my day you all would be wearing no bra and screaming, "To Women's Liberation!" I have this neighbour that seems to live to tell me what to do all the time, how or when to do it, so I was mad at her again. The sun was beaming down in all its glory and putting the two together created the story. Iliana - you got that right - thank goodness for those occasional eclipses Thank you all so much for enjoying my wandering mind. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow! I knew this would be good! I'm sending the link to my daughter...she loves stuff like this! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
This old Indian legend I was told Of moon and sun oh so very long ago. Sun’s aura bright touched the heart of moon, They fell in love on the 9th of June. Moon loved sun, her essence, her soul, The fact she could remain so bright and whole. He showed her off to the stars in pride, Promising heaven to make her his bride. ================================== Well let me tell you this is just delightful. Sharon this is wonderful storytelling poetry. It needs to be illustrated and published as a storybook. Moon cried for Sun deep into the night, Shedding so many tears for his love of light. His tears collected on land, became the sea, A testament of his love, and his love's plea. Moon so full of grief, spilt himself in two, Then in quarters, as crazy men will do. This is why in the dead of night, The moon is never quite all in sight. talk about clever and creative... Being "crazy from the heat" is darn good for your muse. Very cool write dear poetess. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Don't you dare go feeding this ego of mine Seriously though, I love telling and writing fables, and fairytales actually. I do more of these than poetry for my two girls, (good thing I didn't give up that day job right!) Thank you again I do appreciate it. Kind of makes sense in a way that is where the ocean came from, at least to me anyway, except it would be female tears. Now there is whole another story see? I will have to think on that. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I had to hide from you to read this (hard to chat with you and read at the same time, yanno ) and Shar? This is adorable, and not as inaccurate from the folktale as you thought. When I visit you, can we play dress up and you tell stories? This is precious! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
I just think this is too wonderful not to get a second go round, so up you go, Sharon! ....jo |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
A great poem here...i agree it should be a legend...and i like the ''dah Dums''..LOL..thank you.. Goldenrose. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
It is an epic story that just now became I legend. I find it to be a keeper! How fun. You did this really, really well. Thanks sweet thing... If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Thanks everyone, as far as my two granddaughters go - it will of course be a legend They are at the age where they start asking questions I don't quite have the answers to fast enough, so I simply slip them a legend or two. Duncan also found this out too in his garden with a 6-year old young man - check out his poem, if you want a cute read: /pip/Forum90/HTML/001753.html |
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bslicker
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
Bernie A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
I think you could read our minds. I was just thinking if this was really a legend, when I arrived at the end and realised it wasn't. Anywayz, this is an absolutely great piece! I enjoyed every single bit of it. It'd be a great story for the young ones, to teach them always to ask politely and not command. We should never take things for granted. So again I'd say "love it love it love it!!" _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I am so glad you enjoyed it - Serenity was telling me she remembered reading something a little similar in one of her daughter's books once. Who knows in the course of my life I might even have read the same story as her to my son once upon a time, and remembered a piece of it. Actually I thought about that a lot after she said it to me - isn't poetry really started with a memory of some time, some place, or some one? Mon Cheri ~ I add these silly stories into a book a lady does up in golden calligraphy or me. One day, that book will belong to my granddaughters, and I hope over their lifetime that they might remember me. With my luck they will remember the cook not the storyteller |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
His tears collected on land, became the sea, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moon so full of grief, split himself in two, Then in quarters, as crazy men will do. This is why in the dead of night, The moon is never quite all in sight. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I wonder if you truly know how clever and cool those lines are....the personifications and imagery..the metaphors..the poetic intention...the unique inspire Moon so full of grief, split himself in two, Then in quarters, as crazy men will do. that just flat out rocks. |
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