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Open Poetry #33
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three smoke sky
| Open Poetry #33 |
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three smoke sky |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast 
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you were summer skin and the black lady whispered to the hem of your her when you danced the water she watched your eyes in my reflections and said I was a river full of lover and you wanted more than a pond full did my hands ache yet like the sides of your dreams when you couldn't sleep during the tree climb day when the woman of you made finger signals with clouds and freckle toes were willing to run barefoot upside down under the three smoke sky ________________ Dark |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
when the woman of you made finger signals with clouds and freckle toes were willing to run barefoot upside down under the three smoke sky ~*~ There is a time in each girl's life where she eagerly anticipates womanhood... and a longer time in that same life when she revisits her childhood often even if under a three smoke sky. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
she watched your eyes in my reflections and said I was a river full of lover and you wanted more than a pond full Yes! A pond full indeed! Morning hugs! |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
this plays a dreamy video behind my eyes K |
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msflame Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188 |
Your title (and end lines) incorporates a lovely lyrical style called three tone effect, used so much by Dylan Thomas. Breathtaking and drew me in immediately. Thank you!!! |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"she watched your eyes in my reflections" I just love that part....  |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
and said I was a river full of lover and you wanted more than a pond full This is a great comparison -- love it. I can get lost in your words. SusanHappiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Smoky clouds that take form into a vision of wonder and romance...Wonderful vision painted here that all may see... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
she watched your eyes in my reflections and said I was a river full of lover and you wanted more than a pond full did my hands ache yet like the sides of your dreams when you couldn't sleep during the tree climb day when the woman of you made finger signals with clouds and freckle toes were willing to run barefoot upside down ============================ me thinks the sky will glow long after the sun sets on this one.  you wrote a sky sigh groovy guy. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
DS "when the woman of you made finger signals with clouds and freckle toes were willing to run barefoot upside down" Love the whole poem, especially the above.  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
awesome |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Dang, DS...you are awesome at this, of course you must know that. Want to hear it again? |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Yes, Magnus, tell him again...  |
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