The Smile has grown stagnet

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Open Poetry #33

The Smile has grown stagnet

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

0 posted 2004-08-01 08:35 PM

Icy cold hearts of finger tip
days of a many things breaking

Fragile minds open hearts
the windows thrown open
to your arms I want to dart

The shades are drawn in my
chamber I lay in grey waves
of motions of morns and lost
of my own sence of reality

For you I miss the gentle smile
you place before me,my days run
together the blood run cold

To another one I must roam
sadness nasause darkness around

Sunshine peeks through my blinds
of blackness nite through my own
fears and spite I grow to find myself
within.

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

1 posted 2004-08-01 10:02 PM

It is good when you can come out of it.

You might want to look at your spelling in
a couple of places.  sence should be sense.

You also have one word that I am not sure of
what it should be...I think perhaps nausea,
not sure...

Also,  in your title...Stagnet should be stagnant (as in not moving,  pooling in one place)

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

2 posted 2004-08-02 01:53 AM

thank you!

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