Dark Poetry #1 |
Fading into Eternity |
danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
I walk beside a river born of my own tears And watch my dreams now turned to dust being carried away I look to the water to find a reflection But it's to hard to recognize the person that I see Eyes that used to glow so bright and full of life have become dull due to the lack of a happy soul I hear a voice retreating to the distance It is my own But the words no longer bear any meaning And so I walk along Staying in the shadows of this dark and lonely path Fading into eternity [This message has been edited by danni (edited 12-11-1999).] |
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© Copyright 1999 Dannielle - All Rights Reserved | |||
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Oh man, this is SO good... Love the imagery of once glowing eyes. Great ending too...I truly felt this emotion behind this one. Michael |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Well, thank you so much Micheal. It is an honor to see that you liked this one SO much! |
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lostboy Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 275New Hampshire, USA |
I somehow can not picture your eyes as being dull but I do admire the emotion and descriptivness of these verses. Your work is always so "feelable". (if there is such a word!) |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Lostboy- you might be surprised at how dull they are, but thank you. Your admiration is an honor and so are your comments. I'm not sure as to wether feelable is a word eighther but its good enogh for me! thanks again |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
My God Danni, this was amazing. So descriptive with image, emotion, it brought a tear to my eye, it was describing where I am at present. Simply WONDERFUL!!!! The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there IS to celebrate. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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mojar Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 169granbury, texas, usa |
kind of like leaving those footprints in the dust of an empty heart, i really liked this danni. it was really good. |
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summer Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 80long beach .ca.usa |
danni i feel you on this so deeply..ya know its so weird when you find out that other people share your same pains...great peice..keep up the great work |
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medusa Junior Member
since 1999-12-09
Posts 23 |
it was inspiring the first stanza with the line'' i walk beside a river born of my own tears'' a collaboration of great words loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!! a really great read! |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Mo- it really is something how our poems tend to be connected. I am glad you liked this. Summer-yes it really is quite an experience to read something you'd swear was about you. I find it rather comforting. Isis and Medusa- You are too kind, really. I thank you for your wonderful comments. |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Danni, great! The last line was amazing! No, the last stanza was amazing! Every word. Fading into eternity.... JOY |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Wonderful Danni. . . Fading into eternity. . . beautiful words. . . but I can hardly think of your eyes as dull either. . . That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Awesome piece Danni. Verse 4 mirrors me Audacious Work here... Jennifer Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. |
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~Red~ Junior Member
since 1999-11-02
Posts 36chicago, Ill-na, u.s.a. |
ooooooooo!!!! wow! this was extroirdinary! can't spell..shhh!!i really felt this one too! quite powerful...i wish that i wrote it! i can connect with it very much.....great poem! ~Why is it that you beleive in perfection my friend? For perfection is a dream, it shall never be acheived. So tell me why you beleive in perfection?....For PErfection doesn't exist..~ |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Joy Jenny & Red- thanks so much! I must admit that i'm blushing You are to kind. Sven-thank you! Is it really such a hard thought to believe? You are too sweet. [This message has been edited by danni (edited 12-14-1999).] |
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