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| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Ember Junior Member
since 2000-06-06
Posts 10 |
When the pain feels like a crutch for reality It just hurts more as i feel the pain grow inside of me Broke down to a simpler form destroyed and frayed I feed you all you need and you never have to pay I believe in you, something great i have found In you is see the perfect way to bring me down My soul held on a stick as a trophy that you dont deserve No more left to use toss me in the fire to be burned |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ember - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Welcome!! What a gut wrenching barrage of raw emotions in this one!! Liked your style and descriptions/imagery. Good stuff!!  I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I like your style of using such short lines. They sort of stab the reader with powerful emotion. In you is see the perfect way to bring me down My soul held on a stick as a trophy that you dont deserve These were very powerful lines. Good writing! |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~First,...welcome to the dark room. . Wow,..this is such a powerful piece. It's strikingly affecting. (That there may not be proper sentance structure but it's how I felt about it  ). Truly a great read...looking forward to more of your work. Take care. *Peace. |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Ember stinklz!!!!  hehehe...you know it's all outta love. Marvelous darling *claps* I hope you'll post more soon. Geez I feel like such a child...lol..I blame it on the camel. But really Ember...tis a great poem... Yours truly, Angel < !signature--> Listen to your heart for it knows the way even when you don't. ~*Angel of Darkness*~ [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (edited 06-06-2000).] |
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Ember Junior Member
since 2000-06-06
Posts 10 |
Thank you all for your replies. Very much appreciated. Jaime thanx for being there for me You know you have a piece of me that no one can ever find again.Love Paul P.S- leave the camel out of this, |
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AnGeLiX17 Junior Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 46Salisbury, NC |
Ember... that rocked... keep writin babe and keep away from that poor goat... tsk tsk tsk |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Awwww...don't make me get emotional now. *hugglez* Well anywayz..."that's nice....really great work here...keep it up" happy?! lol Love ya!Yours truly, Jaime Listen to your heart for it knows the way even when you don't. ~*Angel of Darkness*~ |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
no kid just do a little fire walking. I feel your pain in this one. great expression. ps I sub part time in a trophy shop, and never found you there. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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kynder Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537Tallahassee, Florida |
my soul held on a stick.... wow!!! what an image!! i love this. i can only wait with anticipation to see your future work!! welcome to dark!! kynder The years teach much which the days never know. Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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