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Dark Poetry #1
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Bunny
Junior Member
since 2000-05-13
Posts 30


0 posted 2000-06-05 07:11 PM


I thought this would make it better
I thought that ending myself would make me happy
I thought it could make them all see
How wrong they were to hurt me
Now I've done it,
Now it's all ending
My blood is all around me
It's getting hard to breathe
Then you came and saw me
You fell over me,
Scared and crying
You say you'll miss me
And then I realize
The mistake I have made
Letting life go means leaving you behind
You say it will be ok
But I can feel the pain
And I see the light fading
This is not what I was meant to be
The last words to escape my mouth are an ungranted plea
Please!  Help me!

© Copyright 2000 Bunny - All Rights Reserved
Lonelypoet
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 123
Conklin,NY,USA
1 posted 2000-06-05 07:29 PM


This poem is excellent and it reminds me of two poems: The Blood of an Angel and ON the stony path you knelt. I hope to read more like this one.
Bunny
Junior Member
since 2000-05-13
Posts 30

2 posted 2000-06-05 08:41 PM


To Lonley Poet-
I have never read the poems you named, because I am relitively new to the forums, but I will try and find them! Thank you for responding!

Jana Tovey
Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257
USA
3 posted 2000-06-05 10:20 PM


Glad to see suicide being represented as a mistake.  It is the ultimate waste, I feel.  Who knows what the person who commits suicide could have gone on to contribute.
Bunny
Junior Member
since 2000-05-13
Posts 30

4 posted 2000-06-06 07:45 AM


Jana-
I am so sorry to say this to you, but when a person decides to end thier own life they cannot see what they might becaome, they can only see what they can't and wont become.  They are sick and can't see any way out except the end.  It's really quite sad and as fo getting help?  If the person is out of control enough to take away thier own life then what do you think the chances are of them thinking oh, I know, I can go get help from that lady! She will make it ok!  It's really very sad so if you are becoming worried about a loved one you shouldnt wait for them to get help, you be thier help or else you might be too late.

Joel the wolf
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333
Angels Camp
5 posted 2000-06-11 03:53 AM


I've had several friends do this,
to much for now I'll look it up later.
just to close to home.

Joel.

 I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel.

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

6 posted 2000-06-11 04:02 AM


This poem was truly a display of RAW POWER, as far as emotion is concerned.

This was an excellent exploration of current dilemmas going on in the lives of humans today.  All I can say is

Whoa!

This one hit me hard!

 We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without color,
Paralyzed force, gesture without motion;

--T.S. Eliot

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