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Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

0 posted 2000-06-03 07:56 PM


Yes I'm losing it,
I am literally gone,
My present realities,
Leave a life undone.

My little son is growing,
Doesn't need me so much anymore,
Aching inside to love and be loved,
But I cannot open the door.

I need a respite from this drudgery,
An escape, a life of my own,
Time and money to do what I want,
A life of peace to set the tone.

Weekdays I'm ignored,
My family off with their lives to live,
While I sit here alone,
Nothing with which to give.

Weekends I'm the odd woman out,
Can't play as good as Dad,
Only good for domestic duties,
When did it all turn so sour and sad?

I don't believe I made a difference,
I am merely a breeding vessel,
A hanger on to those who don't want me,
A nuisance to one and all.

All I want is a life surrounded in love,
Outings to recharge the soul,
Instead I live precariously on a damned computer,
It's finally taken it's toll.




 I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



© Copyright 2000 Isis - All Rights Reserved
JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
1 posted 2000-06-03 10:15 PM


Oh, Isis.  I'm so sorry you feel so down.  Even though your son's growing he'll always need his mommy there.  It sounds like you're doing a great job with him.  Remember that even though the electronic world isn't very personal, you make a difference to people here all the time.  You are definetly the sunshine in the dark we all turn to.  Smiles go out to you on this rainy night in Wisconsin.        

Joy

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
2 posted 2000-06-03 11:11 PM


Thanks Joy I'm better now I had my little vent!!  

 I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2000-06-03 11:21 PM


I don't think you should put yourself down for what you do here. You contribute so much to the lives of others. Granted, this is not the traditional way to 'touch' someone but you do touch others..with your poetry, your replies and your willingness to be there for someone. You are loved and respected here. I guarantee it.  
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2000-06-04 12:31 PM


As do I my friend. . . as do I. . . you are indeed special. . .don't let anyone ever tell you that you are not. . . you've touched so many. . . how could we not care about and love you so much???

Don't lose that light Lisa. . . it's who you are. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
5 posted 2000-06-04 01:18 AM


Kids, and Family have a way of getting you down sometimes. Take a step back and have a look at just what you do and you will see it is definately worthwhile. Kids will ALWAYS need you! You only have to read the replys posted here to see how much you ARE appreciated. Hang in there!  

 God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown



brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
6 posted 2000-06-04 07:33 AM


Ok Isis from a family point of view it would be totally wrong for me to offer advice because it is unknown terrority, I am not even in a relationship. anyway enough about me. From relationship point of you you will always be special and needed by your son, but for different things than his dad can offer. Certain things (not housework- cos that is equal turf men can do housework as well as women, well almost as good as) need a woman's touch.

"I don't believe I made a difference,
I am merely a breeding vessel,
A hanger on to those who don't want me,
A nuisance to one and all."

While I would love to tell you that this is not true, I know it is not, the only one who can change your outlook is yourself. Thanks for sharing, it is always good to vent some pain. Here is a big smile   who knows might work.  

< !signature-->

 ------------------------
"I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"Libraries gave us power
Then work came and made us free
What price now for a shallow piece of dignity"
Nicky Wire, A design for Life.

manic street preachers
"Rock 'n' roll is our epiphany
Culture, alienation, boredom and despair"


[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 06-04-2000).]

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
7 posted 2000-06-04 08:09 PM


Thankyou my friends for your words of support and friendship.  I was just feeling sorry  for myself which is easy to do.

Thanks PDV I was really referring to my personal life rather than here in Passions  

Sven, I know my light is who I am and I'll admit I am proud of what I have become, I won't let it fade without a fight!!

Eagle One, I know he needs me it's the wanting I miss... I know it is normal as he finds his independence..

Brian, thanks for the grin it did help and I appreciate your thoughts too..

                                 


 I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

8 posted 2000-06-04 08:15 PM


I can assure you also, that your poetry and that of everyone here has made a huge difference in my life. My two oldest are gone and one is not far behind. It's hard. the empty nest.
Very hard.
but it feels good to vent doesn't it?

 Kathleen
indy31_99@yahoo.com


Portia
Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157

9 posted 2000-06-05 01:00 AM


Oh, Isis. I empathize totally. I feel that way, too... it's a hard thing, dedicating yourself to your children. It leaves little room to dedicate yourself to yourself.

Portia

Joel the wolf
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333
Angels Camp
10 posted 2000-06-05 10:46 PM


I just droped in on this,
all my love kid.

< !signature-->

GRIN

Joel.
< !signature-->

 I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel.


[This message has been edited by Joel the wolf (edited 06-05-2000).]

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

11 posted 2000-06-06 09:45 PM


~Isis,...you wrote this on the third and I'm reading it on the sixth....I do hope that you are ok. I remember one of our talks via E and I understand all that you are saying here.  Please smile and lift yourself up to the sun.  Take care. *Peace.
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