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ashen
Junior Member
since 2000-04-25
Posts 13


0 posted 2000-06-01 07:07 AM



My Endless Pursuit
                                                    
I dreamt of you again last night.
Why are you always crying in my dreams.
That feeling of futility
It has never left me.
We stand in a place
Illuminated but devoid of background
You're wearing that favourite dark blue
I can almost smell you.
I sometimes wonder
If you know how I cried.
You missed her funeral,
I'm sorry, did you know she died.
I get cold when my mind reels toward you,
The feeling is so involuntary
Oh god why did I have to lose you.
Sure we didn't speak for six months
That was my stupidity at play
All I wanted to do was hold you
And hear you say, I love you.
But you're gone into eternal mists
My ride is alone this year
I can't handle anyone else
The yearning for you
Is always more than a single tear.
Casting back to the past
I remember ironbark trees
Bumper cars, and wolverines.
I remember chasing you through the crowd
That first touch, no voice, not a sound.
It felt like electricity leaping
I swear my heart skipped a beat
The first time you teased my lips apart
And kissed me on the cheek.
I remember California
You remind me of Alaska
Cold, beautiful, and snow topped peaks.
Oh god how I remember.
I miss your smell
And the feel of your hand.
The touch of your feet
Do you remember being sad?
Then we managed to wreck it again
That time for good.
There were no other pills to take
So we swallowed the one that made us ill.
Now we are gone our separate ways
I sometimes wonder if I should have stayed.
If by some miracle you're watching me
I beg you to read over my should,... please.
Why do I always promise
these poems to be "the last"
When I know very well
my heart will never start.

© Copyright 2000 ashen - All Rights Reserved
a-alibaster
Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392

1 posted 2000-06-01 11:00 AM


DARN YOU ashen....I truly HATE too cry, but most of all I hate to cry first thing in the morning in my coffe...
This is soooooo wonderful...I do not know any other words to explain it!
So many lines remind me of my father and my grandparents...father died 6 years ago and grandparents killed together 3 years ago...
things I will never let go or get over as so many tell me that I need to...
Thank you for showing me that I still have a emotions this morning!


 There is an alter ego which
dwells in every soul...
a-alibaster


Joel the wolf
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333
Angels Camp
2 posted 2000-06-02 06:27 PM


Yes my friend,the loss is always more than a tear.
I've also lost many a friend.
I know that you know the depth of this loss.
Your writing express so much.

I'll howl tonight for our lost ones.

Joel.

 I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel.

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
3 posted 2000-06-02 10:51 PM


Loss is so painful, it lessens but never leaves us....   This was wonderful work heartfelt and sad.  I'm sure he'd keep an eye on you  

 I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
4 posted 2003-03-31 08:45 PM


This is soooooo very sad.....Great poetry!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown


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