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Building Castles New~Part 3
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Building Castles New~Part 3 |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Rising up from his knees He woke up from his misery Took hold of the gate surronding What was left of his kingdom And he knew what to do Rise above and build castles new Used the sweat from his brow To caress the bricks that layed to form the wall Around his new palace in the sky Climbing stairs to clouds Lookig down he saw what he lived for Lived up and not on the gravel and ground Ruler powerful again Took his magic wand and touched it to his citizens Inviting them back To live their lives again Promosing to never leave And realize when the tears start to fall The answer won't be to run away any more Stay and try to work things out King Of Fools and Merriment Once again master of all things bright In a cotton candy world Palace in the clouds Palace of pain and delight This is the last of the epic. I apologize. I wish it were better. Something's missing from my poetry lately. Joy [This message has been edited by JOY 14 (edited 05-20-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kristen Joy Jacobus - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
It seems complete to me Joy. It sounds good, looks good, taste good. But your right? something. But still a good epic poem. You can change it later.  )Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Thanks Joel. I hope I get whatever it is back soon. My poetry just isn't the same without it.  Joy |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Joy I know what you mean, you can't put your finger on the name of the element that is missing, but you feel it's absence all the same. Well absence or no absence this is still a remarkable little epic, that I throughly enjoyed!!  I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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