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Dark Poetry #1
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Broken
Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271
The woods

0 posted 2000-03-30 06:16 PM



UNTIL I DIE

What is this I feel?
Is it real?
Everything's just a blur
Like I'm missing a piece of my mind
Like I'm slipping out of myself

They crave too much
I don't know what more to give
What to say
I'm running out of me
And it hurts

There is no escape
Nowhere to hide
It just keeps coming
Eating it's way from the inside

So come to me
Comfort me
Take my hand
Pull me close
Hold me tight
Forever and ever
Never let go

Heal my wounds
Soothe my seared skin
My love my sweet one
My excuse to live
It's like a dream

It's just a dream
And when you leave me
I will to
I'll wake the past alive
Relive me as a child
I'll laugh 'til I cry
Screaming at the sky
I'll play 'til I die
And the echoes ring on
Until I die...until I die...until I die....



 I bleed my feelings on a white sheet
I color the blank page red
It leaves me blodless
Pallid and stale
While the crimson pain thunder in my head
~Broken~

© Copyright 2000 Jay Hartson - All Rights Reserved
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
1 posted 2000-03-30 06:29 PM


Such pain and confusion so apparent in this one, well done  

 There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self...
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
2 posted 2000-03-30 06:29 PM


wow. this just had it all. sadness and happiness and sadness within happiness. i very much liked it.
jann elizabeth

 Love is so short, and forgetting so long.
-Pablo Neruda

Hope, tears, and renewal
Member
since 2000-03-27
Posts 74

3 posted 2000-03-30 07:39 PM


This is incredible writing.  It was such a mix of emotions.  Can't wait to read more...
just_another_fe
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483
MICHIGAN
4 posted 2000-03-30 10:31 PM


Broken~
This was great."And when you leave me"??? So he (i think he maybe she) is still there? Ever hear of a self filling prophecy (however u spell them words lol. Don't sit around waitind and exspecting him to leave. enjoy the now and stop worrying so much about what will come.Maybe if you don't worry so much about him leaving he'll stay  
~Angie

Broken Wings
Member
since 2000-03-18
Posts 157
Miami, FL.
5 posted 2000-03-31 12:29 PM


Broken, this was wonderful...filled with emotions...saddness, happiness, dream like...ahh i cant find the words..i agree with angie..but i also know that when you have only known the kind of love that leaves...you come to expect it to always leave.

**HUG**
take care
Broken Wings


 "As you learn and grow, you will realize the greater the pain, the greater the growth."
-IYANLA VANZANT


For_Never
Member
since 1999-10-27
Posts 125
Cincinnati, oh, United States of America
6 posted 2000-03-31 12:56 PM


I feel the pain..and relate. I can only say that one has to know how to be happy alone..to exist within the trapings of anohers heart...
but.. I cannot really stand by this..since I cannot, it seems, practice what I preach

EAB

StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas
7 posted 2000-03-31 02:19 AM


((((hugz)))) Broken this  was fantabulous!!!
They crave too much
I don't know what more to give
What to say
I'm running out of me
And it hurts

This stanza really hits home know this feeling too well Great job  

 Mystical being
which makes ink flow
Surround me in
your incandescent glow
Fill my brain with
thoughts and rhyme
As I try to capture
but a moment in time
~Shan~


Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
8 posted 2000-03-31 08:58 AM


Broken,
    This poem was wonderful. But that's no surprise to me...you always write with strong emotions deeper than the ocean at it's greatest depths. Another great poem.   But please don't loose heart my friend....at the end of every dark night must arise the light of a new day.

               Yours truly,
                  Angel


 "The dark weight of the hour
humming madly
filling my head
with blood
and sorrow
and dread
the executioner's song."
-Jewel
"The Dark Bells"

~*Angel of Darkness*~



Broken
Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271
The woods
9 posted 2000-03-31 04:40 PM



Isis, Jannel and Hope~Thanks for your comments, I appreciate it.

Just another fe~ This is an old poem, and she left me for a friend I had known since kindergarden. This was not long after I wrote this poem, but I kinda knew I would lose her, just like everything good seems to leave me just as I start to feel happiness again.

Broken Wings~You got it right, when the only kind of love you know is the one that leaves, you start to expect it to go away sometime. And maby that's why it goes away to, it's a vicious circle. *Hug* to you to

For Never~I'm sorry to hear that you can relate to it and feel the pain. Take care

StarrGazer~Yeah I liked that stanza to, I'm  glad to hear you liked it, thanks

Dark Enchantress~Your replies and comments have come to mean the most to me. And the words; "you always write with strong emotions deeper than the ocean at it's greatest depths" is probably the best comment I've got since I start posting here. You inspire me, love you my friend. And I hope there will arise a bright new day tomorrow. Yours truly ~Broken


 I bleed my feelings on a white sheet
I color the blank page red
It leaves me blodless
Pallid and stale
While the crimson pain thunder in my head
~Broken~

JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
10 posted 2000-03-31 05:24 PM


Broken,
I'm with StarrGazer.  Especially the last two lines of that stanza
"I'm running out of me
And it hurts"
I loved those lines!

Joy

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