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Until I die
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Until I die |
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Broken Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271The woods 
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UNTIL I DIE What is this I feel? Is it real? Everything's just a blur Like I'm missing a piece of my mind Like I'm slipping out of myself They crave too much I don't know what more to give What to say I'm running out of me And it hurts There is no escape Nowhere to hide It just keeps coming Eating it's way from the inside So come to me Comfort me Take my hand Pull me close Hold me tight Forever and ever Never let go Heal my wounds Soothe my seared skin My love my sweet one My excuse to live It's like a dream It's just a dream And when you leave me I will to I'll wake the past alive Relive me as a child I'll laugh 'til I cry Screaming at the sky I'll play 'til I die And the echoes ring on Until I die...until I die...until I die.... I bleed my feelings on a white sheet I color the blank page red It leaves me blodless Pallid and stale While the crimson pain thunder in my head ~Broken~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jay Hartson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Such pain and confusion so apparent in this one, well done  There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
wow. this just had it all. sadness and happiness and sadness within happiness. i very much liked it. jann elizabeth Love is so short, and forgetting so long. -Pablo Neruda |
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Hope, tears, and renewal Member
since 2000-03-27
Posts 74 |
This is incredible writing. It was such a mix of emotions. Can't wait to read more... |
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just_another_fe Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483MICHIGAN |
Broken~ This was great."And when you leave me"??? So he (i think he maybe she) is still there? Ever hear of a self filling prophecy (however u spell them words lol. Don't sit around waitind and exspecting him to leave. enjoy the now and stop worrying so much about what will come.Maybe if you don't worry so much about him leaving he'll stay ~Angie |
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Broken Wings Member
since 2000-03-18
Posts 157Miami, FL. |
Broken, this was wonderful...filled with emotions...saddness, happiness, dream like...ahh i cant find the words..i agree with angie..but i also know that when you have only known the kind of love that leaves...you come to expect it to always leave. **HUG** take care Broken Wings "As you learn and grow, you will realize the greater the pain, the greater the growth." -IYANLA VANZANT |
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For_Never Member
since 1999-10-27
Posts 125Cincinnati, oh, United States of America |
I feel the pain..and relate. I can only say that one has to know how to be happy alone..to exist within the trapings of anohers heart... but.. I cannot really stand by this..since I cannot, it seems, practice what I preach EAB |
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StarrGazer Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679Texas |
((((hugz)))) Broken this was fantabulous!!! They crave too much I don't know what more to give What to say I'm running out of me And it hurts This stanza really hits home know this feeling too well Great job Mystical being which makes ink flow Surround me in your incandescent glow Fill my brain with thoughts and rhyme As I try to capture but a moment in time ~Shan~ |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Broken, This poem was wonderful. But that's no surprise to me...you always write with strong emotions deeper than the ocean at it's greatest depths. Another great poem. But please don't loose heart my friend....at the end of every dark night must arise the light of a new day. Yours truly, Angel "The dark weight of the hour humming madly filling my head with blood and sorrow and dread the executioner's song." -Jewel "The Dark Bells" ~*Angel of Darkness*~ |
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Broken Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271The woods |
Isis, Jannel and Hope~Thanks for your comments, I appreciate it. Just another fe~ This is an old poem, and she left me for a friend I had known since kindergarden. This was not long after I wrote this poem, but I kinda knew I would lose her, just like everything good seems to leave me just as I start to feel happiness again. Broken Wings~You got it right, when the only kind of love you know is the one that leaves, you start to expect it to go away sometime. And maby that's why it goes away to, it's a vicious circle. *Hug* to you to For Never~I'm sorry to hear that you can relate to it and feel the pain. Take care StarrGazer~Yeah I liked that stanza to, I'm glad to hear you liked it, thanks Dark Enchantress~Your replies and comments have come to mean the most to me. And the words; "you always write with strong emotions deeper than the ocean at it's greatest depths" is probably the best comment I've got since I start posting here. You inspire me, love you my friend. And I hope there will arise a bright new day tomorrow. Yours truly ~Broken I bleed my feelings on a white sheet I color the blank page red It leaves me blodless Pallid and stale While the crimson pain thunder in my head ~Broken~ |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Broken, I'm with StarrGazer. Especially the last two lines of that stanza "I'm running out of me And it hurts" I loved those lines! Joy |
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