Prisoner - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Dark Poetry #1

Prisoner

demonic~angel
Member

since 2000-03-11

Posts 54
Kansas

0 posted 2000-03-24 11:28 PM

Black as death
As I take my last breath
Dark as night
Erase death from my sight

Feelings swirling in a black pool
I never once was “cool”
Just let death fall over me
I once was free

I am taken prisoner in death’s tight grip

Messenger of fear in sight
Dark deception kills the light
~Metallica~

Jonas
Senior Member

since 2000-03-03

Posts 796
Oregon

1 posted 2000-03-25 10:37 PM

This is a very strong piece. Reading it is like getting punched between the eyes. Good job!

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
-Edgar Allen Poe

mcclain
Junior Member

since 2000-03-22

Posts 13

2 posted 2000-03-26 11:00 PM

Great dark poem! Maybe you can explore the reasons behind the feelings you develop in this piece and write another one which goes even deeper. Look forward to reading more...

[This message has been edited by mcclain (edited 03-26-2000).]

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

3 posted 2000-03-27 12:38 PM

I wouldn't say that about you hon. You are in a really cool place often - Passions! Seriously.... Great work though

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self...
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

4 posted 2000-03-27 02:18 AM

Well, personally, I view "Death" as one come to free you from a prison, not imprison you. But I like the poem, nonetheless.

Michael

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.