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Ambivalence
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Ambivalence |
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heng New Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 5 |
She spat at the picture of the man who had cruelly snatched her beloved in a car crash Crashing the papers into a tight ball Preparing to hurl them across the room Yet she hesitated For she saw her darling boy watching her "What's wrong,mum?"His soft gentle voice asked "No,nothing's wrong.Why should anything be wrong?" She smiled broadly,her face lit up like a twinkling star An awkward silence hung the air For a moment,they remained still, like characters in a sitcom being held at Pause "Come,give mum a hug" her voice was light and cheerful as she embraced him fiercely Trying desperately to suppress her swirling emotions sinking her deeper and deeper into abyssal darkness Q:do u think my title fits my poem??any suggestions for a better title....TQ  ") |
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| © Copyright 2000 heng - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
I don't know about a better title. This one seems to work, but very creative lines here.. "like characters in a sitcom being held at Pause" Joy Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old time is still a-flying, And this same flower that smiles today To-morrow will be dying. -Robert Herrick |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
WHat about 'Resigned to the Fates' Let me know what you think. The poem sad and painful, as dealing with loss always is. Well done There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Lovely bittersweet thoughts here...her world has fallen apart but she wants to keep it together for the families sake. James |
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dhuron Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476 |
A great Poem, I think the title works. Just heartbreaking how the mother tries to be strong but in the inside she is falling apart.... The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, not the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship." --Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
beautiful. i loved the pause and its placement. very nice work. jannel Dont wake the dead, Wake the dying, Don't change what you've said, Change what you're saying. |
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