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Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

0 posted 2000-03-16 06:29 PM


Shadow Of Doubt

I'm in a shadow of doubt
who made me think
I could be anything
worthwhile.

I feel a grave of words
tumbling upon me
burying me alive
screaming.

Who was I to think
my words could
mean anything,
something

No one hears me
as I dive deep
below level
dying.

© Copyright 2000 RiaL - All Rights Reserved
Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444
USA
1 posted 2000-03-16 07:15 PM


This's got a lot of verbal depth. A hole, of any depth, can be dug by anybody. But don't forget to look up too. The sky's also there. Keep your chin up : )

This was good writing, I loved it. We write for a purpose, to release our feelings.

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
2 posted 2000-03-16 08:44 PM


Emotionally dying yes, physically no.  Like Artur said look up and see the good ...
Very descriptive word usage well done  

 May the world hug you today,
With it's warmth and love.
I pray it whispers a joyful tune in your heart,
That tell you there is a friend sitting in another corner of the world,
Wishing you well and
wishing you love......
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)


StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas
3 posted 2000-03-17 07:44 AM


very good job  even the form of the poem gave  me the feeling of sinking lower and lower ....

 ~*Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear*~



Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
4 posted 2000-03-17 05:10 PM


This brought tears to my eyes and a gasp. That means you did very good!! Excellent poem, wonderful emotion, very well expressed imagery.

AMY

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~

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