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Dark Poetry #1
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City Rain
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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City Rain |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas 
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Shadow across the sidewalk Crimson tainted water Slips into the drain Lying there unnatural Rain soaked clothes cling To bruised flesh Shadow peers through Deepened gloom Wiping the stains on some Nearby litter A lone beast lumbers down The cracked, weeping asphalt Baleful eyes piercing the night Shadow steps back Treading upon a severed hand Then vanishes into the Disquiet night And the teen-whore stiffens In the soft, fragrant city rain Alicat |
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| © Copyright 1999 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Quite Potent, Alicat. Loved the imagery and especially the shock ending. Michael |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
You paint a very macabre portrait here Ali. The last two lines especially caught my eye, such stark and harsh reality followed by an almost sarcastically soothing description. As if the faux benevolent city is mocking the situation. [This message has been edited by Satiate (edited 09-26-1999).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Spooky use of imagery! |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Great poem, Ali. I could picture a girl I know, once a "friend" of mine, Lying there just as the subject of the poem is......The thought of her and the last 2 lines are now swimming in my head together......  ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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