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Dark Poetry #1
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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2000-03-01 11:02 AM


There I sat and found myself
Sitting down staring
Upon broken dreams and words
The lies lay staring
My thoughts withered and went astray
I knew for some strange reason
That what had been summer
Is now the closing season
And I sat still as stone
An ancient silent guardian
Yet I was no longer me
Left to my own constant pondering
It was dark and silence
Was its own little sound
I heard many voices
With no one around
I knew utter despair
And I had reached the end
Into a better life
I give myself to send
In one hand was held a gun
The other grasped for air
The seconds had ticked loudly
Sweat dripped from my hair
The world withdrew while I sat
And left me all alone
Not knowing if it were me,
I heard an unearthly moan
Minutes were hours untold
I watched the dark, this night
Until nothing was real
I beheld an impossible sight
A vision it was; a vision it seemed
Yet somehow becoming real
An energy filled the air
I could taste, yet not feel
So I shook with fright
As it was tangible fear
It became a woman in black
She floated and whispered in my ear
Her raven hair and hidden face
Beneath the mourner’s veil
Only the eyes stared at me
And suddenly, she began to wail
No words could I understand
Yet some language was said
Her banshee like screaming
Rent fissures inside my head
Screaming fearfully at her tortured wail
I bowed and covered my face
Then silence, I opened my eyes
To enter some foreign lonely place
The woman was gone, but
Her cries rang still in my ears
The mists parted, yet
I escaped not her fear…



© Copyright 2000 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
devinmaria
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 130
Middletown, Ohio
1 posted 2000-03-01 11:07 AM


so many people say they do not fear death, but i will admit it scares.  facing death, even the death of someoen esle is scarry. i think you made a great visualization of the person and the woman.  i had a picture of it all in my head which drew me even more into the poem.  great work.

aimee


 Trust I seek and I find in you. Everyday for us something new. Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters. --Metallica

PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
2 posted 2000-03-01 11:14 AM


Aimee, you really did read this did you? You saw things most people don't see in it. Thanks for that.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-03-01 12:56 PM


There I sat and found myself
Sitting down staring
Upon broken dreams and words
The lies lay staring
My thoughts withered and went astray
I knew for some strange reason
That what had been summer
Is now the closing season
And I sat still as stone
An ancient silent guardian
Yet I was no longer me
Left to my own constant pondering
It was dark and silence
Was its own little sound
I heard many voices
With no one around
I knew utter despair"

this one is SO deep...and so good... way dark too...i had to read it a couple times to take it all in...(while E-mails come in LOL)
but i actually get the meaning of it!!! amazing isnt it...  


Yet somehow becoming real
An energy filled the air
I could taste, yet not feel
So I shook with fright
As it was tangible fear
It became a woman in black
She floated and whispered in my ear
Her raven hair and hidden face
Beneath the mourner’s veil
Only the eyes stared at me
And suddenly, she began to wail
No words could I understand"

the imagery in this piece is amazing, when did you write this?
stalking on>>>>jm


[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 03-01-2000).]

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