Dark Poetry #1 |
Take These Tears |
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
~Take These Tears~ Take these tears, I wont cry them anymore, They fall like wasted wine and scatter on the floor. Take this pain, its been here way too long, You use it to keep a hold on me-but I'm feeling suddenly strong. Take this shame-it always belonged to you, Keep it with the lies you told and the broken promises too. Take this rage...you deserve it most of all, If you think I'm gonna get over it-your headed for a fall. Take this silence, I know you've heard its sound before... Its the first thing you hear...after the slamming of the door. Janet Marie |
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© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Walter Poe Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787 |
Very good Very brash a good end enjoyed it much Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace, of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd |
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summer Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 80long beach .ca.usa |
i like this alot it holds so much emotion...our poetry is such a good release and your right this person who ever they may be deserves it all , you no longer have to hold it ... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wow! Good poem! Stand up for yourself! I like it!...thus the exclamation points.. sorry.... [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 01-25-2000).] |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Full of strength Janet. I'll take the tears enclose them in my fist, and show you the diamonds they produced. Tears of pain, strengthen the soul and wash it clean too. Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Janet this sounds like an emotional healing. I Love the line they fall like wasted wine and scatter on the floor. James |
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~Venus~ Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 128 |
That was a great poem Janet! I loved it, but hey, what can I say? I love all the poems here...okay, maybe I *am* exaggerating but yours is a great one! |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
Take these tears...I love your words... i almost missed this one...good i went back and clicked to see it... you write true...beautiful and meaningful words...that touch me... you don't have to understand completely..to love completely... remember even the darkest night has a morning to meet...you'll understand someday..Avanti Rao |
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CrEaTuRe Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 260Kuala Lumpur,Malaysia |
beautiful said and done.....great job.....loved it........ CrEaTuRe |
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Keli1019 Junior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 31FL |
This was a great poem, and I can really relate to it, because recently, I finally got over someone who I thought was my "first love", but he only caused more pain and suffering than I could ever imagine. The whole poem was great, and you know what, you do become stronger. "It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone." |
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Jesse Jaymz Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708Youngstown, ohio |
great poem, lots of rage in this peice. it shows true raw emotion. i like it alot. good job janet. and thank you so much for your kind replys to my work. it is greatly appraiated. *hugs* True beauty is often hidden in darkness... ~Jesse C. Jaymz~ |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
excellent piece indeed. it would be nice if you could make the ones who hurt us feel how deeply it runs and lingers. the strength rings from this piece. Something has to change. An undeniable dilemma. But I am not a burden anyone should bear. -Tool- |
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Geo Member
since 1999-12-29
Posts 73Nebraska |
BRAVO Janet!! Very powerful! Straight forward message and well written!!! Always enjoy reading your work!! |
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TanAngel Member
since 2000-02-01
Posts 168Oviedo, Florida, USA |
Bravo!! Wow, a poem I think everyone can relate to. Powerful and meaningful words! I love the closing line! Keep up the great work!! "Dreams are not a reality, no matter how much we wish"-TanAngel |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
They have all said what I liked about this poem, Janet Marie! What to say now? Except great poem, and I really did like the end line! Joy |
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DayDreamer Junior Member
since 2000-01-16
Posts 30 |
Great poem! I like the way you stood up for yourself. ((as Poet deVine said)) Nicely said. DayDreamer "You can't change anything by just sitting back and looking at it."~Cloud |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
~Janet Marie You go girl! This was truly fab! I really got into what you were saying here, and truly felt it within. Sounds to me as if you have had enough, and I am glad. The journey of healing is long and painful...but in the end, when we can finally see the light...then we begin to understand why we ever had to go through it in the first place. Sorry to say I am not all sunshine..just good at pretending. I can relate more to what you're going through than I'd like to admit... respectfully yours, amy ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~ |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Wow, am I glad I stopped in here....What a great poem, seems we all have some "Dark Passions" inside....Thanks, reading this really helped me...Bonnie |
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Sheilan Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 50Snohomish, WA |
Let the intended take all that stuff...and you take back the control!!! Isn't empowerment wonderful? Very inspirational! Good work! Sheilan |
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blueyz75 Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 138IL |
While we are in a giving mood, I have a few extra pounds I want so shed and some anger that has been hanging around. Kelly I love the male body, it's better designed than the male mind.---Andrea Newman |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Take it all - I don't want any of it anymore! I feel the pain beneath your words. Beautifully done, JM. Michael |
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devinmaria Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 130Middletown, Ohio |
very powerful, moving piece. i felt the anger and power of its words, but i also felt the pain in it. great piece. aimee Trust I seek and I find in you. Everyday for us something new. Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters. --Metallica |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Beautiful Janet. . . kind of echoes some thoughts that I've been having today. . . Wonderful as always. . . --------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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sonjes Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564North Carolina |
They can take it all, the tears, the anger, all of it, we don't need it anymore!!! I will survive and all that jazz. Well said, Janet Marie. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Janet~ I felt like standing up and saying"yah, take this too!"(can't say what THIS is )Great poem. -SEA |
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