navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #1 » Take These Tears
Dark Poetry #1
Post A Reply Post New Topic Take These Tears Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554


0 posted 2000-01-25 10:29 AM


~Take These Tears~

Take these tears, I wont cry them anymore,
They fall like wasted wine and scatter on the floor.

Take this pain, its been here way too long,
You use it to keep a hold on me-but I'm feeling suddenly strong.

Take this shame-it always belonged to you,
Keep it with the lies you told and the broken promises too.

Take this rage...you deserve it most of all,
If you think I'm gonna get over it-your headed for a fall.

Take this silence, I know you've heard its sound before...
Its the first thing you hear...after the slamming of the door.

Janet Marie

© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved
Walter Poe
Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787

1 posted 2000-01-25 11:06 AM


Very good

Very brash a good end enjoyed it much

 Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace,
of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd

summer
Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 80
long beach .ca.usa
2 posted 2000-01-25 12:59 PM


i like this alot it holds so much emotion...our poetry is such a good release and your right this person who ever they may be deserves it all , you no longer have to hold it ...
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2000-01-25 07:11 PM


Wow! Good poem! Stand up for yourself! I like it!...thus the exclamation points.. sorry....  

[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 01-25-2000).]

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
4 posted 2000-01-25 07:18 PM


Full of strength Janet.  I'll take the tears enclose them in my fist, and show you the diamonds they produced.  Tears of pain, strengthen the soul and wash it clean too.  

 Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.
~Isis~
(Sovereign of the Spirit)


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2000-01-26 02:39 AM


Janet this sounds like an emotional healing.  I Love the line they fall like wasted wine and scatter on the floor.  James
~Venus~
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 128

6 posted 2000-01-27 07:20 PM


That was a great poem Janet! I loved it, but hey, what can I say? I love all the poems here...okay, maybe I *am* exaggerating but yours is a great one!
AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
7 posted 2000-02-05 11:27 AM


Take these tears...I love your words...
i almost missed this one...good i went back and clicked to see it...
you write true...beautiful and meaningful words...that touch me...


 you don't have to understand completely..to love completely...
remember even the darkest night has a morning to meet...you'll understand someday..Avanti Rao



CrEaTuRe
Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 260
Kuala Lumpur,Malaysia
8 posted 2000-02-05 11:56 AM


beautiful said and done.....great job.....loved it........

CrEaTuRe

Keli1019
Junior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 31
FL
9 posted 2000-02-05 12:03 PM


This was a great poem, and I can really relate to it, because recently, I finally got over someone who I thought was my "first love", but he only caused more pain and suffering than I could ever imagine.   The whole poem was great, and you know what, you do become stronger.  

 "It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a
day to love someone- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone."

Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
10 posted 2000-02-05 03:05 PM


great poem,  lots of rage in this peice.  it shows true raw emotion.  i like it alot.  good job janet.  and thank you so much for your kind replys to my work.  it is greatly appraiated.  *hugs*  

 True beauty is often hidden in darkness...
~Jesse C. Jaymz~

danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
11 posted 2000-02-05 05:12 PM


excellent piece indeed. it would be nice if you could make the ones who hurt us feel how deeply it runs and lingers. the strength rings from this piece.

 Something has to change. An undeniable dilemma. But I am not a burden anyone should bear.
-Tool-

Geo
Member
since 1999-12-29
Posts 73
Nebraska
12 posted 2000-02-06 01:46 AM


BRAVO Janet!! Very powerful! Straight forward message and well written!!! Always enjoy reading your work!!
TanAngel
Member
since 2000-02-01
Posts 168
Oviedo, Florida, USA
13 posted 2000-02-06 08:57 AM


Bravo!! Wow, a poem I think everyone can relate to. Powerful and meaningful words! I love the closing line! Keep up the great work!!

 "Dreams are not a reality, no matter how much we wish"-TanAngel

JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
14 posted 2000-02-07 06:19 PM


They have all said what I liked about this poem, Janet Marie!  What to say now?  Except great poem, and I really did like the end line!  

Joy

DayDreamer
Junior Member
since 2000-01-16
Posts 30

15 posted 2000-02-07 09:20 PM


Great poem! I like the way you stood up for yourself. ((as Poet deVine said))  Nicely said. DayDreamer

 "You can't change anything by just sitting back and looking at it."~Cloud

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
16 posted 2000-02-29 05:11 PM


~Janet Marie

You go girl! This was truly fab! I really got into what you were saying here, and truly felt it within.   Sounds to me as if you have had enough, and I am glad. The journey of healing is long and painful...but in the end, when we can finally see the light...then we begin to understand why we ever had to go through it in the first place. Sorry to say I am not all sunshine..just good at pretending. I can relate more to what you're going through than I'd like to admit...

respectfully yours,
amy  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~

BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
17 posted 2000-02-29 06:49 PM


Wow, am I glad I stopped in here....What a great poem, seems we all have some "Dark Passions" inside....Thanks, reading this really helped me...Bonnie
Sheilan
Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 50
Snohomish, WA
18 posted 2000-02-29 06:55 PM


Let the intended take all that stuff...and you take back the control!!! Isn't empowerment wonderful?  Very inspirational! Good work!  
Sheilan

blueyz75
Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 138
IL
19 posted 2000-02-29 07:11 PM


While we are in a giving mood, I have a few extra pounds I want so shed and some anger that has been hanging around.  

Kelly


 I love the male body, it's better designed than the male mind.---Andrea Newman


Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
20 posted 2000-03-01 12:10 PM


Take it all - I don't want any of it anymore!  I feel the pain beneath your words.  Beautifully done, JM.

Michael

devinmaria
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 130
Middletown, Ohio
21 posted 2000-03-01 12:13 PM


very powerful, moving piece.  i felt the anger and power of its words, but i also felt the pain in it.  great piece.

aimee


 Trust I seek and I find in you. Everyday for us something new. Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters. --Metallica

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
22 posted 2000-03-01 12:53 PM


Beautiful Janet. . . kind of echoes some thoughts that I've been having today. . .

Wonderful as always. . .

---------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


sonjes
Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564
North Carolina
23 posted 2000-03-01 03:41 PM


They can take it all, the tears, the anger, all of it, we don't need it anymore!!!
I will survive and all that jazz.  Well said, Janet Marie.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
24 posted 2000-03-01 11:26 PM


Janet~ I felt like standing up and saying"yah, take this too!"(can't say what THIS is )Great poem. -SEA
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #1 » Take These Tears

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary