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Dark Poetry #1
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Unfinished" (Help?)
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Unfinished" (Help?) |
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Wendy Flora Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182Virginia |
This poem has lain unfinished for over a year, poor thing... If anyone has any ideas, inspirations, etc, I'd really like to finish this poor creature. I meant it as a song, if that helps. Thank you. -wen ---------------------------------------------------- Verse 1 There's a sad, lonely tree in the forest Its branches spread wide to the sun And carved on its chest There bare on its breast The words for which many have come To see... Chorus As long as the mountaintops Still kiss the sky Until I am sent To lay down and die As long as the shoreling Caresses the sea There still will be you and me ---------------------------------------------------- I was hoping to continue the verses in more of the story-telling manner, which is part of the reason I'm stuck. Come on, you creative people you, I know you can help. Thanks! |
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| © Copyright 2000 Wendy Flora - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Apologies that I cannot help with this because my meager attempts would fail in a song. I can say that it is an excellent start though. Don't gain my affections and cover my eyes. In blindness I will only swing harder. |
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Walter Poe Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787 |
The tree spoke of beauty The tree spoke of woe Yet its words had nowhere to go So the tree Cries tears As the bitter woe nears And it sings clear.... CHORUS Its song is carried On the clouds Accross the world And from all around People cried hearing the sound So tree sang... CHORUS The Old earth heard its song And it cried deep tears And all around the tree Greenery appeared The forest is now bright But the words are still clear....... CHORUS Hope this helps Walter Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace, of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd |
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brandywine Junior Member
since 2000-01-19
Posts 19Illinois |
Wen- i don't know how you like walters ending, but I find it to be excellent. Good work, the both of you Bran We are each of us angels with only one wing... and the only way we are able to fly.. is by embracing each other. |
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Wendy Flora Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182Virginia |
Thank you so much! This is really great. Yay! -wen |
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Walter Poe Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787 |
My pleasure it was a beautiful first verse it was so easy to continue it i am glad i had the oppertunity Thanks Walter The tree stands alone in the gentle breeze it rocks gently humming at the birds and the bees. Unaware of the love it has seen from the earth and the seas and the gentle rain from the skies it feeds. Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace, of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd |
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Walter Poe Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787 |
My pleasure it was a beautiful first verse it was so easy to continue it i am glad i had the oppertunity Thanks Walter The tree stands alone in the gentle breeze it rocks gently humming at the birds and the bees. Unaware of the love it has seen from the earth and the seas and the gentle rain from the skies it feeds. Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace, of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
Way to go POE (Edgar Allan LOL) I think that helped quite abit..I had trouble coming up with anything sorry! "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
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