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Test of the Immortal
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Test of the Immortal |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I have posted only a few poems here in the Dark... and feel the pull back here.... Elysium’s daughter sought to gain Her womanhood in this test Alone to brave the forest wild Affirming her as one of the best Immortal clan of women, cursed To procreate with mankind Bound together in passion Love and hate intertwined Emboldened by the hunger She crept closer to the glow Firelight dancing in the forest Visions she yearned to know Smells now reached her nostrils Combined scent of man and fear But food was the temptation That brought her ever near Creeping silently until She stood behind a tree Seeing for the first time The men of villainy Her father sat amongst them Broadsword at his side Drunk from mugs of whiskey Meaty hands gesturing wide “We’ll find the creature, guaranteed or my head will surely roll find her ‘fore she breeds again she’ll lie with man or troll They talked of her for hours The hunt was quite in hand But they did not reckon for Her knowledge of the land Soon stentorian snores Echoed round the fire She crept closer seeking Food to quench her desire Quickly now she moved about Stealing weapons from their packs And tossed them in the river To delay their vengeful attacks Lifting up a sack of food, She stood finally her full height Then boldly walked away Into the cimmerian night She hid her cache of food Then returned to see them awaken Smiling as the wondered how they Allowed themselves to be taken One by one they awoke Snorting and with manly ease Til one after another found She could take whatever she pleased “Damn that immortal!” cried her father with dismay, “I rue the day I bed the mother Now tis time for whelp to pay!” She lingered there no longer Having seen her father’s shame Slipping into the forest shelter Tired of this childish game Immortal tho she may be born denial smote her tender soul so tainted did she feel she regretted the food she stole But her clan had demanded She seek purity in this trial They sent her naked into the woods To forage for awhile She survived upon her wits Living as creatures of the wild Gaining strength to carry on As woman, no longer child. Thirty days of isolation Then to the caves she returned Body shaped by hard living Bearing scars that she had earned She greeted her sweet mother Who could read her mind with ease Together they accepted that They lived for themselves to please The welcoming fire died quietly And she rose to proclaim her right “From this day forth, this Immortal shall be called Elysium’s Night |
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| © Copyright 2000 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Most excellent Devine! What a tale you weave! |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
I can't quite find the words to describe how I feel, but it was very interesting and I liked the read!! Well Done!!!!! I think you should post in Dark more often!! Take Care Bridgette |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
This was an absolutely delightful read...I loved how the last stanza pulled it altogether.....Beautiful Poet devine Jenny Lee Words bloom like flowers that seem astonished at being born. L. Pirandello 16th Century Dramatist |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wow! What a tale! This is excellent, Sharon! I'm glad I found it!! Denise And slight is the sting of his trouble Whose winnings are less than his worth; For he who is honest is noble, Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~ |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Sharon, glad you are drawn here, for this had me enraptured from beginning to end. Wonderful work!!  Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Exceptional piece here, Lady DeVine. What a tale. So glad you joined us in Dark, I do hope you will continue to more often. Michael |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
What a story and it flowed like water under the bridge. I enjoyed this and you must submit more here! "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Sharon, no matter where you travel, you and your work is a diamond in the rough! The darkness pulls you because of the balance needed for caring side you usually portray! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all for you kindness... the prequels to this poem were posted under my alias "Elysium Moon"...they are around somewhere! I'm so pleased you liked this.. I am working my way around the forums..dropping bits here and there..I will leave the Critical Forum til last though so when they tell me I have no talent, I will have a few more poems written before then..  |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Ooo! Damned and divine, deVine. *bows* She said burn ... together. |
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KuruShio Member
since 2003-11-18
Posts 110 |
Wow how anything this good can remain unpublished I cannot fathom. I loved the immagery and the way it blended together. To long has this thread been dead awaken and bare new posts Neither night nor day can give me purchase only purged dust on earth can avenge the worthless. |
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