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Nightmares
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Nightmares |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments 
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This is an actual dream I had. Sorrow seeps in waves of pain, Putrid black upon silver shores. Reaching out is evil's bane, Plaguing with cancerous sores. The devil in angelic disguise, Rides raven wing to take my hand. My horrors bleed from garnet skies, Shackling me within darkened lands. A rainbow touches my crumbling skin, Sending down butterflies of white. I can feel the breath of my kin, Shifting through my murderous nights. The eyes of the beast pull at me, As I fight for my lost freedom. The sparkling lights I still see, As I hear death's drums. Just when the blade smashes down, I am painfully ripped from dreams. I glance upon my tear stained gown, And realize things aren't as they seem. *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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| © Copyright 1999 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Alwye: All I can say is wow! At first I thought that this poem was going to be a typical run of the mill descriptive poem, using too much imagery, that would becme boring, but, was I ever pleasantly surprised. The way you describe your dream is amazing, you have such a power with words. I do compliment a lot of people, I must admit that, but, it takes a lot to truly impress me and I am impressed. I wonder why no one else has read and replyed to your poem, well they are missing out on a gem then. My favourite line "the devil in angelic disguise" however, only one comment or criticism, I am not too fond of the line that follows "rides raven wing to take my hand." I don't know why I don't like it, it fits and yet it doesn't for me anyways. It doesn't make sense to me. Of course the devil is riding towards you, I understand that, but, a raven wing doesn't make sense to me. Sorry, am I am idiot? please explain if you can or perhaps think about changing the line to become more clear. additional favourite lines: " a rainbow touches my crumbling skin" (wow, I love that line) and the last verse is my favourite. You certainly had quite the vivid dream, and you bring the dream to life so perfectly too. I look forward to more writing of yours, and please reply to my other poems in this site. * Melissa Honeybee * |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Wow, Melissa, thank you for all the comments! I appreciate it a lot! As for my line "Rides raven wing to take my hand", it refers to the devil actually coming to me upon a bird of some sort...I think I need to calm down my imagination before I go to bed, eh?  I hope that helped you understand it a bit better. Thanks again, I love hearing comments and critism! *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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Niemczak Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 51 |
Please don't calm down your imagination or your visions. I really liked it. It was really expressive. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Dreams can be powerful motivators and inspirations. . . yours are no exception. . . I have always kept a dream journal next to my bed. . . I get some of my best ideas that way. . . Continue to share your vision with us. . . That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Wow,glad to know I'm not the only one who dreams so vividly! Awesome piece, I enjoyed your dream alot  Jenny Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Scratching head on this - I was sure I replied to it the first time I read it. I really related to this poem because I have dreams of such clarity, it's almost frightening. Very well done, Alwye. Michael |
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