Unrequited These Thoughts I Act My Age

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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2004-05-06 10:26 AM

Her head did a robin tilt left
As her usually curved lips
Drew straight the line of contemplation
Across a mouth I longed to press to mine
And crush from her the words I wanted said

Yet feared more than the not saying

In time she spoke
But eyes darted to the speckle of shade
That danced under our feet
Not into mine
Letting me know in my own mind
She was indeed
Just trying to be kind

I do not think my smile betrayed
But perhaps
      When the meadowlark startled wind
She saw more than I hoped
For I know the flash of color rose in her throat
When in exhale I sighed

It’s past the time for daffodils
       The fields are now green
And I in passing of days
        Still hear the songs of spring
But do not burn as I did once
With youth’s fire to be

Came the song of you to me
Today I simply satisfy myself
With dream

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-05-06 10:28 AM

It’s past the time for daffodils
       The fields are now green
And I in passing of days
        Still hear the songs of spring
But do not burn as I did once
With youth’s fire to be

Came the song of you to me
Today I simply satisfy myself
With dream

~*~

The imagery was, again...all I could ask for...
the metaphors?  Fine stuff...

Do it again.  Please.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

2 posted 2004-05-06 10:32 AM

Came the song of you to me
Today I simply satisfy myself
With dream

beautiful in its sweet lament; for me, wish the dream were enuf to satisfy

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2004-05-06 10:39 AM

Ron

"It’s past the time for daffodils"

How does that happen so quickly?

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

4 posted 2004-05-06 10:44 AM

Captain, your words are always as fresh as spring despite the fall.

Never forget that.

~tier

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

5 posted 2004-05-06 10:55 AM

"Her head did a robin tilt left
As her usually curved lips
Drew straight the line of contemplation
Across a mouth I longed to press to mine
And crush from her the words I wanted said

Yet feared more than the not saying

In time she spoke
But eyes darted to the speckle of shade
That danced under our feet
Not into mine
Letting me know in my own mind
She was indeed
Just trying to be kind"

Of course this was wonderful ..but let me tell you something, from my point of view..

I have found that the more I want lips to press against mine...the more I look away, least he see the lust in my eyes...

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

6 posted 2004-05-06 11:21 AM

"It’s past the time for daffodils
The fields are now green
And I in passing of days
Still hear the songs of spring
But do not burn as I did once
With youth’s fire to be

Came the song of you to me
Today I simply satisfy myself
With dream"

Yes..tis past the time...for daffodils..
melancholy write Captain....
Thankfully, we can and do still dream.
Well done..well done indeed.
Hugs~

~ Lost in you, I found myself. ~

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

7 posted 2004-05-06 11:35 AM

damn this is good, but has me shaking my head..

summer is eternal in those who refuse to let their flowers die...youth is a state of mind..

and to me, you still bloom beautifully in every word you write

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

8 posted 2004-05-06 11:54 AM

Cpat -- this was really good -- took me back to an age of innocence.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

9 posted 2004-05-06 12:12 PM

I've recently been reading your stuff in the archives...always love your writings

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

10 posted 2004-05-06 12:26 PM

Her head did a robin tilt left
As her usually curved lips
Drew straight the line of contemplation
Across a mouth I longed to press to mine
And crush from her the words I wanted said

Yet feared more than the not saying

====================================

I do not think my smile betrayed
But perhaps
      When the meadowlark startled wind
She saw more than I hoped
For I know the flash of color rose in her throat
When in exhale I sighed

It’s past the time for daffodils
       The fields are now green
And I in passing of days
        Still hear the songs of spring
But do not burn as I did once
With youth’s fire to be
=============================

rememeber what I said earlier about your poetry......
about history and chemistry....
you just defined and proved my point
you rock poet sir... flat out rock and roll.

( me thinks Im never gonna get that grass cut today) rofl

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

11 posted 2004-05-06 02:45 PM

Need I tell you? you know right? how affecting your words are....

~~**~~
le vent chante avec le calme doux
calme de nuit
sien beauté sur mes lèvres
~~**~~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

12 posted 2004-05-06 04:41 PM

I echo Janet Marie...."You rock poet sir"
Yes, you do!

It is always a pleasure Ron

Off course I'll add this to my library

What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin.

Go Alanis!

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

13 posted 2004-05-06 04:42 PM

oh my...sigh...from the title all the way to the end...poetic perfection...haven't read much today, so as not to cry, but me thinks these are tears that need shedding...thank you for being the poet and friend that you are

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

14 posted 2004-05-06 05:46 PM

"In time she spoke
But eyes darted to the speckle of shade
That danced under our feet
Not into mine
Letting me know in my own mind
She was indeed
Just trying to be kind"

Or maybe the sun was in her eyes...

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

15 posted 2004-05-07 09:13 AM

It’s past the time for daffodils
The fields are now green
And I in passing of days
Still hear the songs of spring
But do not burn as I did once
With youth’s fire to be

Came the song of you to me
Today I simply satisfy myself
With dream

Simply superb, my friend. *S* But the steady glow of older embers can generate even more heat than the flashfire of youth... when the song is right. *S* Excellent work!

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

16 posted 2004-05-07 12:52 PM

Longing...

you just get better and better, Cpat,
I didn't think it was possible
for you to be better than best.

You're not worthy of touching those lips, no,
you're worthy of being them.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

17 posted 2004-05-07 05:56 PM

This is a melancholy but sweet reflection. I enjoyed the tone.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

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