A Simple Verse - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

0 posted 2004-05-04 01:24 PM

The sun peers down
       from heaven
but cannot find me
       through clouds.

Bells give form to wind.

Paint the world on sand.
Braid endings in blue and green into its border.

Raise a hand
       and bless the dead.

Journey's end.
Journey's beginning.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

wordwizard
Member

since 2003-09-08

Posts 483
on the way to next world

1 posted 2004-05-04 01:56 PM

Hi Nan

Interesting verse. Honestly don't know how to place the braid endings line in the context of the verse, maybe it's just me, I like the snap shot images that run here though...

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

2 posted 2004-05-04 03:32 PM

Thanks, Martin, I'm glad you like the images.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

3 posted 2004-05-04 07:26 PM

I enjoyed the images too. This was beautifully written and seemed to me to have an ethereal feeling to it.

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-21

Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

4 posted 2004-05-04 09:55 PM

Well I tell ya pilgrim, this may be a simple verse but it tells it plain what's complex and downright well too.

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

5 posted 2004-05-04 09:58 PM

enjoyed this

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2004-05-05 04:45 AM

Nan, yu painted a picture in my mind
with a few words. It's beautiful, too.

Hugs,
Ethel

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

7 posted 2004-05-06 06:16 PM

Beautiful, Nan!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

8 posted 2004-05-06 06:31 PM

Nan~
I so felt the movement of the imagery in this piece~

'Paint the world on sand.
Braid endings in blue and green into its border.'

I just could so see this braiding~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

[email protected]

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

9 posted 2004-05-06 09:05 PM

Nan

This felt like a map to me...enjoyed a great deal!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

10 posted 2004-05-06 09:09 PM

Very much enjoyed the read...wonderful imagery.
Hugs~

~ Lost in you, I found myself. ~

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

11 posted 2004-05-06 09:16 PM

Simple Verse? Heck no...this is Exquisite Verse! I LOVE IT! Absolutely great piece Pilgrimage. Bravo!

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

12 posted 2004-05-07 10:09 AM

Opeth, I'm glad you got that. I was going for that feel.

Local Rebel, that is so very nice of you.

MG-thanks.

Ethel, thank you for the enjoyment your poems have given me.

iliana, thank you.

Marge, I tried to be vivid, I'm glad it worked for you.

Martie, I'm so glad.

Enchantress- that's so very nice of you.

Evocative-how very kind. I'm glad it spoke to you.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

13 posted 2004-05-07 12:35 PM

simple or not, I'm glad I didn't miss this one

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

14 posted 2004-05-07 05:45 PM

Thanks shadow.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.