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Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-04-19 11:34 AM

I have never considered the distance between
heart and mind
between those pulses lies the lost angel
in shallow darkness
sleeping awake while the dream ends
rising in horizontal faith
a drop of water holy

calm these hands:
a touch becomes art
where passion moves in deep dimensions
I ache to be free

Somehow I misunderstood the
parts of water
even so, I would like to
walk in rain with you again -
taste the moon upon your lips
of moments more:
crossing shadows

{I will leave it at this}

At the edge of midnight
among your stars
I'll be in the sky of illusion
the essence of reflection
silent behind the mask
one space between
earth and darkness
leaving a trace

of quiet
behind

{Inspired & Muse Dedicated}

~~**~~
The sound of silence calls,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream
The echo of our souls meet
~~**~~

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2004-04-19 11:41 AM

Very beautifully inspired write!
Love, Margherita

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

2 posted 2004-04-19 11:43 AM

excellant! you have a special beauty with your words thanks

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2004-04-19 11:43 AM

"Somehow I misunderstood the
parts of water
even so, I would like to
walk in rain with you again -
taste the moon upon your lips
of moments more:
crossing shadows"

Achingly beautiful Lauren!
Another masterpiece.
~Hugs and love to you pretty lady~

To have lived the dream of a love so true...
is to have seen a glimpse of heaven.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2004-04-19 11:46 AM

Lauren

Must be a special muse to inspire such beautiful words.

Grover
Senior Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada

5 posted 2004-04-19 11:51 AM

Very, very good!

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

6 posted 2004-04-19 12:17 PM

Fabulous Lauren!
I can almost feel the midnight breeze skimming the surface,
and the gentle ripples in the water.

Beautiful, you~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2004-04-19 12:29 PM

the distance is something I consider every night...as well as the ache to be free

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

8 posted 2004-04-19 03:30 PM

At the edge of midnight
among your stars
I'll be in the sky of illusion
the essence of reflection
silent behind the mask

oh such romantic words, felt like I was listening to Phantom of the opera, this stirs the readers deepest romanticisum...passionate from the word go!
very much enjoyed.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

9 posted 2004-04-19 07:34 PM

I have never considered the distance between
heart and mind

~~~~~~~

Somehow I misunderstood the
parts of water
even so, I would like to
walk in rain with you again -
taste the moon upon your lips
of moments more:
crossing shadows

{I will leave it at this}

At the edge of midnight
among your stars
I'll be in the sky of illusion
the essence of reflection
silent behind the mask
one space between
earth and darkness
leaving a trace

of quiet
behind
========================
oh girlie...ya had me from the first line.

and this.....

At the edge of midnight
among your stars
I'll be in the sky of illusion
the essence of reflection

talk about poetry in motion.... *sigh*

muse inspired indeed.

... and it's you ... you ... you ... you ...
the light changes when you're in the room.

M.B.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

10 posted 2004-04-19 07:50 PM

Somehow I misunderstood the
parts of water
even so, I would like to
walk in rain with you again -
taste the moon upon your lips
of moments more:
crossing shadows

{I will leave it at this}

~*~

Muse inspired, indeed...

Do you know how much I wish
I could emulate you?

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

11 posted 2004-04-19 09:08 PM

Lauren,

Your poetry is like Mozart to my ears.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

12 posted 2004-04-20 09:18 AM

thank you for all the heartfelt replies.....

all....

~~**~~
The sound of silence calls,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream
The echo of our souls meet
~~**~~

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

13 posted 2004-04-22 10:17 AM

such inspire..and such feelings indeed are not from the in between places.. those not quite real in heart or mind... you have managed again to render me with little to say..
but beautiful...

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

14 posted 2004-04-22 04:02 PM

"At the edge of midnight
among your stars
I'll be in the sky of illusion
the essence of reflection
silent behind the mask
one space between
earth and darkness
leaving a trace"

~ The essence of reflection... damn... these words rock.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

15 posted 2004-04-22 05:36 PM

calm these hands:
a touch becomes art

Oh indeed it does..yes.

love it Lauren

Maree

What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin.

Go Alanis!

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

16 posted 2004-04-22 06:15 PM

Excellent. Has a calming influence on the read. A fading into the quiet.
Very nice.
JL

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

17 posted 2004-04-23 06:55 PM

Thank you all....

and MUWWWAAAHHHSSSS and HUGSSSS

~~**~~
The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you
~~**~~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

18 posted 2004-04-23 11:08 PM

I have never considered the distance between
heart and mind
between those pulses lies the lost angel

fantastic opening, enjoyed the whole thing but they just stood out

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

19 posted 2004-04-24 01:15 AM

Got to agree with LeeJ
Evocative !

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

20 posted 2004-04-24 08:39 PM

so pretty

-Juju

Goodknight
Member Elite

since 2002-06-15

Posts 2386
Ohio, USA

21 posted 2004-04-24 08:43 PM

this is terrific poetry - it touched me deeply and played wonderful images before me - Paul

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

22 posted 2004-04-24 08:55 PM

"Somehow I misunderstood the
parts of water
even so, I would like to
walk in rain with you again -
taste the moon upon your lips
of moments more:
crossing shadows

{I will leave it at this}

At the edge of midnight
among your stars
I'll be in the sky of illusion
the essence of reflection
silent behind the mask
one space between
earth and darkness
leaving a trace

of quiet
behind"

What everyone else said...squared.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

23 posted 2004-04-24 09:03 PM

Nice critique message!

All I can say by way of critique is that I would have liked more description of the places and things to which you alluded... more adjectives to help the image of the angel, the sky, &c---

Otherwise, I'm thrilled by your use of personification and intimate symbolism. Very nicely written---

(I also love the new pic, even though it's probably old by the time I have seen it---looks very antique, very charming

)

Brian

http://www.livejournal.com/~new_formalism

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

24 posted 2004-04-24 09:04 PM

Greeneyes - ah yes, the muse has inspired you, yes indeed...

BC

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

25 posted 2004-04-25 03:16 AM

must be a good muse
to write a beauty like this poem

wolfy

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

26 posted 2004-04-26 05:33 PM

thank you dear poets and poetess for taking time to read....

~~**~~
The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you
~~**~~

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