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choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York

0 posted 2004-06-04 10:38 AM

Just say "they're dewdrops"
glistening on the spring grass
as the sun rises-
you fade into long shadows
of so many broken dreams.
[This message has been edited by choshi (06-05-2004 10:21 AM).]

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

1 posted 2004-06-04 10:57 AM

choshi -- oh, this one, so very lovely, yet so sad.......

.....jo

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

2 posted 2004-06-04 11:47 AM

choshi

There is much feeling in these few words of beauty.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2004-06-04 11:48 AM

Beautiful write! *S* I'm glad I found this one! *S*

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2004-06-04 11:59 AM

Beautiful...yet with such sad longing.
Well done.
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

5 posted 2004-06-04 01:00 PM

heart touching, good one

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2004-06-04 01:02 PM

I love and admire the way you do these

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

7 posted 2004-06-04 01:37 PM

though those dreams are shattered
they still reflect sky
and within it the sun
but now in thousands of views
rather than bound to one...

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

8 posted 2004-06-05 09:26 AM

A bow to the master on this one....you say so much in this little space!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

9 posted 2004-06-05 09:45 AM

Just say "they're dewdrops"
glistening on the spring grass
as the sunrises-
you fade into long shadows
of so many broken dreams."

  It is so sad, but perfectly expressed.
Truly inspiring me to respond in some form or other.

   I'm just the ladybug
   under grass bent roof,
   I can't see shadows fading
   But fathom heat
   from rolling drop.

              Sadie

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

10 posted 2004-06-05 12:30 PM

Melancholic yes, but very powerful and beautiful in the vision it produces.
Love, Margherita

choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York

11 posted 2004-06-05 03:19 PM

I'm just the ladybug
   under grass bent roof,
   I can't see shadows fading
   But fathom heat
   from rolling drop.

              Sadie

Lovely perspective Sadie.

Thank you ~P

choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York

12 posted 2004-06-05 03:29 PM

though those dreams are shattered
they still reflect sky
and within it the sun
but now in thousands of views
rather than bound to one...

Very powerful and hopeful Dawn. Thank you.

Such dreams
dance upon a cloudless sky
as the sun shines-
in suspended raindrops
that glitter on leaf edges.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

13 posted 2004-06-09 12:32 PM

Enjoyed...James

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

14 posted 2004-06-18 02:20 PM

what poignant and haunting imagery. i'm glad i found this...

how do i write a Waka, may i ask?

choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York

15 posted 2004-06-21 07:34 AM

Thank you Kaile....~P

choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York

16 posted 2004-06-21 10:38 AM

Thank you James, I am glad that you enjoyed...~P

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